tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-71972763544695687062024-03-13T15:41:42.001-05:00Fabulously Broke {Post} TwentysomethingEvery penny counts, especially when you are young and trying to pay the bills. Here's my attempt to be creative with my fun and my funds.Kirstinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12429378852637507315noreply@blogger.comBlogger393125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7197276354469568706.post-41644455669469773382016-03-04T12:00:00.000-06:002016-03-04T12:00:03.871-06:00Stitch Fix #4 Review<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">StitchFix clothes always look so pretty coming out of the package!</td></tr>
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It's been awhile, but I decided to give Stitch Fix a go again, and I'm so happy that I did! I've gotten a few questions from friends curious about giving the service a shot, so I thought it was a good time to get my thoughts down.<br />
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This was my fourth Stitch Fix delivery, and as many reviewers say, I feel like my items have gotten better over time as I've provided feedback regarding what I do and don't like. My first two Fixes, I kept one item each time. My third Fix, which was right before our honeymoon, I kept three things, including a pair of jeans that I wear almost every day. And I'm in the process of making a decision on this current one...<br />
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<b>Some of the basics to know: </b><br />
You pay $20 for a delivery that typically has 5 different items selected for you by one of the StitchFix stylists, usually a combination of tops, pants, skirts, dresses, and accessories, depending on what preferences you indicate in your profile. You try everything on, and then decide what you want to keep, and send back the rest in the mailer bag they provide. StitchFix charge your card for the remaining amount, and also provide space for you to give feedback on the items you didn't keep. They include a pricing sheet so that you can decide based on the cost of each item. There is a 25% discount if you keep all five items. You can sign up for whatever frequency of deliveries that you'd like, from monthly or bi-monthly to just ordering on occasion, which is what I've typically done.<br />
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A few things I've learned along the way:<br />
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<b>Update your style profile often. </b>Your style profile is the primary thing that the stylists look at when they are deciding what to send you and the more specific you are, the better. Size preferences, your preferred price points, items to send/not send, color and print preferences, business vs. party vs. casual, etc. <br />
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Because I hadn't ordered in awhile, I was sure to update with my current sizes and needs. I also noticed they had some new questions, one of which I was super excited about. Petite sizing!!! I have loved some of the tops that they've sent me in the past, but because I'm a shortie with a short torso, they often looked way too long on me, and so I'd send 'em back. I checked this box, and in my current fix, 3 of the 5 items were sized for petites. Yeah!<br />
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<b>Use a Pinterest Board to show what you like.</b> There is an option in the style profile to include a link to a Pinterest board that the stylists can look at to see what types of items you like, and what style trends excite you. I went in and updated my clothing Pinterest board before ordering, and made sure to include current trends I liked, even pinning things directly off of the Stitch Fix boards or from other bloggers reviews. I also cleaned out things that I was no longer really that excited about. My stylist, Libby, noted that she went in and looked at my board, and used it to pull some particular items for me.<br />
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<b>Be specific in what you are asking for and in your feedback on items. </b>They tell you this over and over throughout the site - "the more we know about you, the better we can style for you." With each order, I've tried to note specific things I wanted. This time, I noted that I was looking to build back my wardrobe after losing some weight and purging quite a bit of my clothes. I asked for a new pair of jeans, noting that I had loved the last pair they sent me. I also noted that I was looking for some classic pieces, like a black or navy blazer. And they delivered on both! I also try to give very clear details at checkout on why I have returned something they've sent. This was too busy of a print for me. Loved the color on this top, but the cut was off for my body shape. The quality of this item just didn't seem to match the price.<br />
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<b>Try stuff on in daylight, and try it all on. </b>So typically my deliveries have come on weekdays, which means I'm often opening them after work when it's dark out. I try stuff on that night, but I've also learned to try everything on again in the morning. Stuff just looks different in daylight. I also try everything on, even if I open the box and see something that I'm instantly iffy about. Sometimes I've been right that something wouldn't work, and other times, I leaned in to the stylist's suggestion and found I really liked something that I never would have picked for myself.<br />
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Common questions:<br />
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<b>What's the price point? It depends. </b>As I mentioned earlier, you let them know what you'd prefer to spend per item. I usually note "as cheap as possible" for most categories. I'm not at a place where I can spend a lot of money on clothes.<br />
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<b>Are there any downsides? Possibly. </b>There is always the chance that you get a Fix that just misses the mark. I had one Fix where I wasn't in love with anything but did keep something just to not lose my $20. But I feel like there is more potential for that at the beginning, and that naturally happens less the more that they get to know you. I have also been sent some items that I liked but felt like were more of a $25 top you might find at Target or Forever 21 than a $40-70 top. Initially I also received quite a few dry-clean only tops, which is just not really my jam. I go to the dry cleaners about once every year and a half. I asked that they send me less of those, and I believe only one of the current tops I received is dry clean only. I do have a Dryel kit now though, which makes it easier to keep up with my dry-clean only tops. <br />
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Want to see what I got this month? Here it is!<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-gNennLXTqCNskeN1CJfBL1F7fMqifM4OZ5u_Y758MXX1v8iO9IPcWrc5-mfbQ0z0DS11VU64ytl3Vf3zhu0Wr9EU6MvAVQwfvuNeOKh70KII921yOy2sfkbJ1ztN6rD0TOGWw4NXAy74/s1600/IMG_6478.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-gNennLXTqCNskeN1CJfBL1F7fMqifM4OZ5u_Y758MXX1v8iO9IPcWrc5-mfbQ0z0DS11VU64ytl3Vf3zhu0Wr9EU6MvAVQwfvuNeOKh70KII921yOy2sfkbJ1ztN6rD0TOGWw4NXAy74/s400/IMG_6478.JPG" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Green tab-sleeve blouse from Collective Concepts and Skinny Jeans from Kut from the Kloth</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Purple, grey and pink chevron print top from Pixley</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Navy, pink and white plaid blouse from Papermoon and Navy Blazer from Kensie</td></tr>
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<b><br />My initial thoughts? </b>This was my best Fix yet, and I'd love to keep the same stylist moving forward. This is the second pair of jeans that I've received that fit perfectly - and we all know how icky shopping for jeans can be. The green top is one of my favorite colors. Despite the fact it is super wrinkled and could spend some quality time with the steamer, I really like the cut and loved that it wasn't too long. Petite sizing for the win! I wasn't sure initially about the print of the chevron top, since I tend to stick to stripes or polka dots, but it fits well and is super comfortable and the print grew on me as I wore it. I also was willing to give the navy and pink plaid top a shot, although it wouldn't be something I ever would have picked up in a store. It looks awesome with the blazer, and would be a great piece for work or going out to dinner. And the blazer was a win all around! And to have all of my tops be the right length, yeah! This is the first time I am debating keeping everything. If I do, I'd basically be getting either the jeans or the blazer for free, with the 25% discount. Plus I have a credit with Stitch Fix, making the cost doable. <div>
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I have until Monday to decide. What do you think? Which item is your favorite?</div>
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<b>Want to try Stitch Fix for yourself?</b> Here's my <a href="https://www.stitchfix.com/referral/3158059" target="_blank">referral link</a>. Full disclosure: If you do order a Fix, I receive a $25 credit. </div>
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Kirstinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12429378852637507315noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7197276354469568706.post-84462104151555861682015-10-10T13:07:00.000-05:002015-10-10T13:07:00.064-05:00My Whole30 Must Haves<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My snack pack for attending a football game when I knew I couldn't eat anything in the stadium.</td></tr>
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I tend to approach Whole30 fairly simply for a couple of reasons. First, I am feeding not only myself, but also my husband, who does not do Whole30 with me. So I'm typically making something that accommodates both of our eating preferences. I also don't want to break the bank buying a whole bunch of specialty foods or ingredients that are only used for Whole30 recipes.<br />
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But there are some foods that I found to be totally worth it, that make life more delicious and stress-free. Some of these are things that make life easier, and others are things that feel like treats, which makes Whole30 feel a lot less restrictive.<br />
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1. Ghee/clarified butter - so glad that I found this. You can make your own, but that just sounded like a lot of work when I can find it at Trader Joe's. There are just certain foods that could use that buttery flavor, and so this was totally worth it.<br />
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2. Guacamole - watch the ingredients on store-bought guacamole, but know that guac got me through two Whole30 rounds for a reason. Your body needs healthy fats to feel full, and these are perfect for that. Costco has the huge packs of Wholly Guacamole singles, but I've also purchased single-serve guacamole from Aldi, Target, and other places too. One of my on-the-go breakfast items (almost every day) was dipping carrots in guacamole.<br /><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Whole Foods Gua-kale-mole is really good stuff.</td></tr>
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3. Coconut Aminos - If you like to cook different meat and veggie stir frys, this is a great substitute for soy sauce. And one of my easy peasy meals during Whole30 is creating lettuce wraps with ground chicken or turkey cooked with garlic, ginger, and coconut aminos. Limited ingredient, super quick meals are totally my thing.<br />
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4. <a href="http://www.gochomps.com/" target="_blank">Chomps Snack Sticks</a> - Okay, you might be able to live without beef sticks. Not me. I ate a lot of beef sticks prior to Whole30 (my coworkers can attest), and so I was very excited to find compliant ones. For days that I needed to pack some emergency snacks, these came in handy.<br />
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5. Almond butter - Almond butter became a little bit too much of a comfort food for me during the first Whole30 (I went through more than one jar...). There were times that I would get home from work and need a quick spoonful to give me a little boost before making dinner. This time I was much more mindful, and ate a lot less of it, but it was another great thing to keep on hand for those days that I needed a quick snack. Plus it's tasty with celery sticks or apple slices.<br />
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6. LaCroix - LaCroix has helped me kick my soda habit a few different times. It's become such a part of my daily routine that I'm known to show up at friend's houses with a LaCroix in hand. My alcohol-free version of BYOB, I guess?<br />
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7. Peppermint Tea - At our house we have developed sort of a nightly ritual where we drink a cup of peppermint tea after dinner while watching tv. It's become such a comforting ritual that I look forward to each night.<br />
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8. Fancy olives - One of my favorite splurges has been going to the Whole Foods olive bar and making a small container of mixed olives and roasted tomatoes. Total treat. And amazing salad topping that eliminates the need for a dressing!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mmm. Briny and delicious.</td></tr>
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9. Macadamia nuts - The splurge of nuts, but boy do I love them. Definitely in the treat category.<br />
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10. <a href="http://store.slapyamama.com/Slap-Ya-Mama-Cajun-Seasonings-s/42.htm" target="_blank">Slap Ya Mama Cajun Seasoning</a> - One of my favorite discoveries this time around was that my favorite cajun seasoning is Whole30 compliant. Since that moment, I've been putting it on everything - chicken, broccoli, potatoes.<br />
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Everyone has their own things that help them to make the program fit for them. My must haves may be totally different than yours, and have also varied some between my two Whole30s. For some folks it's Larabars, which unfortunately I can't eat. For others it's specific fruits or veggies - I ate a whole lot of kale salad and roasted broccoli this time around.<br />
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Have you done a Whole30? Do you have any must haves?Kirstinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12429378852637507315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7197276354469568706.post-25436062270315373792015-10-09T15:31:00.000-05:002015-10-09T15:31:00.670-05:00Second Whole30<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Or rather, Whole 29. That's right. Full disclosure: I totally cheated on the second to last day.<br />
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It was stupid. I got through all of the crazy busy weeks, and thought I was doing so well that it wouldn't be a big deal to bake some dairy-filled, sugar-filled, grain-filled dessert treats for the students. And my willpower was just not as strong as I thought it was. I totally ate one of the frosted almond bars. And I felt sad. And mad. And disappointed. Mainly that I was going back to my all-or-nothing way of doing things, and that I wasn't going to be able to find a happy medium. Dreading that a week later, I'd be eating a daily Jack's pizza and feeling horrible.<br />
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But a good friend reminded me of a few things. First, to recognize the many accomplishments that I had made in 29 days. Also, that I had already done this once before, and proven that I could do it. Perhaps I didn't have to do a full 30 days again if I was able to retain the concepts. Okay, perhaps scarfing down an almond bar wasn't a win. But I had really worked on some good habits that have the potential to stick for awhile.<br />
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Then, I read these three posts (<a href="http://whole30.com/2014/05/dear-melissa-eat-part-1/" target="_blank">1</a>, <a href="http://whole30.com/2014/05/dear-melissa-eat-part-2/" target="_blank">2</a>, and <a href="http://whole30.com/2014/05/dear-melissa-eat-part-3/" target="_blank">3</a>) in a series about what the creator of Whole30 eats, and how she incorporates the concepts into her daily life, but also where she gives herself room to eat non-compliant stuff. And I realized there is a way to do this that fits for my life, that may mean incorporating some foods back in that I'm missing and that are okay for my body, while still being healthy and feeling good.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This may be Whole30 compliant in ingredients, but holy giant omelet! This lasted 3 meals!</td></tr>
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And so rather than dwelling on my mistake and going into a food-shame spiral (which I think we tend to do to ourselves), I want to highlight some of the major wins from this experience and some of the things that I learned about myself.<br />
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<b>I can do this, even during my busiest time. </b>Despite cravings and temptations, I stuck with this through the busiest times of my job where I was working many nights and weekends. There were days that I packed all three meals. I made it work. Which shows that with good planning and preparation, there is really no reason or excuse to not eat healthy. I tend to give in and eat lots of junk food during those times and use it as an excuse, but really that's when I need to have good healthy practices the most!<br />
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<b>I got to make some delicious meals with my husband, family, and friends. </b>For both rounds of Whole30, my husband and I had so many more family dinners together. And there were a bunch of times that we made meals as a team, whether grilling or making a pot of chili. Or doing a potluck with friends. And that's an amazing non-scale victory (NSV) to me!<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDEP2DZEOibklX0WZV4Cif-udCTFtflnhIg4FOy585CqagMOnoN7BZrEvKgktKtZSTKON9QbrBaZFwua7mvOSpcgqHavXGpwf4sALio5-wKXdTVVy9Z8HfplJB3OpvPbJ1l0cRKJSAanzn/s1600/12004838_10102813577125850_7314371847511645077_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDEP2DZEOibklX0WZV4Cif-udCTFtflnhIg4FOy585CqagMOnoN7BZrEvKgktKtZSTKON9QbrBaZFwua7mvOSpcgqHavXGpwf4sALio5-wKXdTVVy9Z8HfplJB3OpvPbJ1l0cRKJSAanzn/s400/12004838_10102813577125850_7314371847511645077_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Grilled bison steaks with chimichurri and lots of veggies that we made together</td></tr>
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<b>I feel amazing. </b>After so many months of stomach issues, I feel great! I have so much more energy than I did before and my skin is brighter and clearer. And I managed to power through the cold that I got from being rundown with my schedule in just a few days, which I attribute to eating and drinking my way through it, with very limited meds.<br />
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<b>I hit a number on the scale that I haven't seen since high school.</b> I want to be clear that weight loss wasn't my primary goal for doing this. But it was very motivating to see that I could impact positive changes to my body through making more nutritious choices. And that boost in confidence is nice!</div>
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<b>I still can go out to eat and be social. </b>There are a number of menu items that I could work with to have a night out of the house. Which is awesome, because one of the challenges of Whole30 is the sheer amount of time spent cooking and cleaning. And breaks from that are necessary. I love spending less money on eating out, but it is nice to do every once in awhile. Especially with friends and family.<br />
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<b>I didn't feel limited.</b> Others assume Whole30 sucks. And they say "Ugh, that's why I don't diet." Or share "I couldn't do this because I couldn't give up X." And I probably would have said something similar too. But once I got past the first few days of not having half and half in my coffee, I didn't really think about it that way as I was making meals. For me, it doesn't feel like a diet. And once my thinking was reframed, there were a lot of things that felt like treats that were 100 percent compliant. Hello red grapes! So delicious. And while doing it, I also didn't think often, "oh my gosh, I can't wait to eat X again." </div>
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<b>I benefited from having lots of fresh veggies through our CSA and made a point to use almost all of them.</b> I think that doing a Whole30 during the summer/fall is SO much easier than winter. Access and cost of fresh produce makes such a difference to having more variety of food items and keeping the budget in check. And I threw away a lot less of my CSA veggies than before. And now I need a plan for maintaining a supply of vegetables through the winter.</div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzTEXHPhBlsTByK7OLxKgG-tEBrCgcNgu2qMe0dmu9Vguq01ALodaXORCLO-jZMMjwmcwzEAZ0ddul8xG25uzzxqGLqA1pvnOkSCRCWPzhoGmf2BWQoBrquc1ajX6tcoXQ1RyHo5-gyT2V/s1600/12096255_10102848191648070_8993941513700880556_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzTEXHPhBlsTByK7OLxKgG-tEBrCgcNgu2qMe0dmu9Vguq01ALodaXORCLO-jZMMjwmcwzEAZ0ddul8xG25uzzxqGLqA1pvnOkSCRCWPzhoGmf2BWQoBrquc1ajX6tcoXQ1RyHo5-gyT2V/s400/12096255_10102848191648070_8993941513700880556_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Making homemade veggie stock with leftover scraps from CSA veggies</td></tr>
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<b>I need to focus on the reintroduction phase.</b> I totally skipped on this the first time around. I intended to do it better this time. And then I didn't. I jumped right into eating a few things that combined dairy and grain, making it hard to tell what made me feel like yuck. And that's the whole point of the process if you want to get better knowledge of how and which foods are affecting you. So that's my biggest goal post-Whole30. I'm not going to start all over, at least not right now. But I have been doing days of full-on Whole30, and then a Whole30 + dairy, Whole 30 + beans, etc. I think this will better help me pinpoint what I can reintroduce more regularly and know my body's reactions better.</div>
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<b>I want to celebrate living a better life, with the occasional indulgences.</b> I've been listening to the Happier podcast with Gretchen Rubin and Elizabeth Craft, and one of their "Try This at Home" tips for greater happiness is to Choose the Bigger Life when making decisions. As I think about what this means for me and food, I know that my life is happier when it's focused on homemade meals with friends and family. Eating dinner at the kitchen table with good conversation with my husband (and usually some lingering cats). Making recipes with tasty ingredients and mindful eating. And I think there is totally room to eat other things. But I'd rather make the decision to eat an amazing pastry from the french bakery down the street on a delightful walk on a fall day with Chris, than mindlessly eat half a box of Cheez-Its because I'm procrastinating making dinner. Or to have one of the klejner that we make each Christmas as our family tradition rather than beating myself up about it, when it's something that is so special to me. </div>
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If there is one thing I'm taking from this experience, it's that <b>it's a work in progress. Change happens over time. </b><br />
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<b>I still have more reflecting to do. </b>Stay tuned for more Whole30 thoughts. </div>
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Kirstinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12429378852637507315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7197276354469568706.post-90441781700143876382015-10-05T21:29:00.001-05:002015-10-05T21:31:04.890-05:00Fall Goals<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIucoArTxC4axeKlq_ugURGiPuKhdSibLvPA7Br1S5VgQMGqxSRAS3CkZ_5Ocz3irwUn5rSAdeJpHOXGy1amxXHqUtGmIQufC78egRhmZEydTScC6L6sfs98TVqeCgaN6zp_i7Hr9RDjpc/s1600/12096100_10102853496871360_219100515887452926_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIucoArTxC4axeKlq_ugURGiPuKhdSibLvPA7Br1S5VgQMGqxSRAS3CkZ_5Ocz3irwUn5rSAdeJpHOXGy1amxXHqUtGmIQufC78egRhmZEydTScC6L6sfs98TVqeCgaN6zp_i7Hr9RDjpc/s400/12096100_10102853496871360_219100515887452926_n.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
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How did summer completely pass by? It's gone. I didn't even write summer goals, I just did summer.<br />
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The last month was honestly a blur. I had just under 20 events over the first month of school. This past two weekends were the first that I could enjoy and I am happy to report that I did absolutely no work! Which also has me focused on making the most of these beautiful fall days that we have left. Fall is absolutely my favorite season, and I want to take full advantage before that winter coat comes back out of the closet. I also want to get back into a regular routine for school, work and fun.<br />
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<b>Eat: </b>The last post about goals that I wrote was in the spring after I had just finished a Whole30. And now I just finished one again. After stomach issues all spring/summer, I'm feeling the best that I've ever felt. And so I think I'm going to try to keep up with my mostly meat/eggs/veggies/fruit/nuts/seeds diet, with the much less frequent piece of pizza or donut thrown in. Because health. I ate an english muffin on Sunday and thought I might die. More on that later. Plus I need to continue eating through the abundance that is our CSA. If I could do it during my busiest time of year, why not keep it up? <b> </b><br />
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<b>Drink: </b>Pumpkin Spice coffee from Trader Joe's. TJs has pumpkin everything right now. Most of it didn't fit with Whole30 (although I was totally tempted by the pumpkin spice cookie butter). This was a great find. And Chris bought me a pour-over so that I can drink one cup at a time, since he will stick to regular coffee and thinks this stuff sounds totally gross. More for me. Totally fills my pumpkin spice latte craving without the sugar or milk.<br />
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<b>Read: </b>More books! I slacked off a bit on my reading challenge, but have been picking it back up lately. I've finished 24 of the 52 for this year in the <a href="http://www.popsugar.com/love/Reading-Challenge-2015-36071458" target="_blank">Pop Sugar Ultimate Reading Challenge</a>, most recently re-reading Eat, Pray, Love. Right now I am reading The Princess Bride by William Goldman. Totally a family favorite movie - I'm excited to read the book. I am also reading Rising Strong by Brene Brown and can't wait to purchase Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert.<br />
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<b>Watch:</b> Scandal! So excited it's back. It's the only show that I try to keep up with from week to week. I binged on a lot of different shows over the summer, including all five seasons of Game of Thrones in a very short time period. And The Newsroom, which I loved and am sad to hear is done. After all of the binge watching, I'm actually really excited to go back to watching something on a weekly basis - I enjoy the suspense and cliff hangers, rather than jumping right in to the next episode. Also - who else is excited about The Muppets being back on tv?!<br />
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<b>Listen:</b> To a few different podcasts. Right now my two go-to podcasts that I listen to while washing dishes are "Happier" with Gretchen Rubin and Elizabeth Craft and "Magic Lessons" with Elizabeth Gilbert. That's right - I do a lot of soul searching while washing dishes.<br />
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<b>Wear: </b>All of my fall clothes. It's my favorite wardrobe! Scarves. Sweatshirts. Jeans. Boots. It's the best that my closet has to offer and I'm singing about it! "All the fall things.."<br />
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<b>Finish: </b>Dissertation interviews! That's right. I'm in full swing on the research. Round one of interviews are wrapping up this week. I'll get all of my transcription and coding underway, and then proceed with Round Two before the end of the semester. Momentum is a great thing.<br />
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<b>Purchase:</b> Some serious winter boots. I've had my current pair for over five years. It's time for a new pair before the snow falls.<br />
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<b>Stop:</b> And snuggle kitties. Because kitties.<br />
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<b>Go: </b>To Boulder! I am SO excited to get to spend a long weekend with three of my favorite people in the whole world. They give me life. And we see each other far too infrequently. So we are going to live it up in the mountains, do nature-y things, and enjoy every minute together.<br />
<b><br /></b><b>Focus: </b>On friends and family. : )<br />
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What are your fall goals?Kirstinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12429378852637507315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7197276354469568706.post-56938259018913153332015-09-05T15:14:00.000-05:002015-09-05T15:19:30.927-05:00Best Gadgets for Whole30I am currently on Day 5 of another Whole 30 and feeling great!<br />
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I did my first Whole30 back in the winter, and felt the best I had ever felt. I vowed to keep up the healthy eating, but definitely got back into some of my bad habits and decided it was time for a reset again. And what a better time to do it, than when there is tons of fresh, seasonal produce available? </div>
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I have had a lot of friends asking me about my Whole30 experience and any tips that may make it easier. One of the biggest adjustments that I found with Whole30 was meal planning and prep. I definitely have to map out my meals for the week. And when you can't eat processed foods or eat out many places, it's a lot of cooking and dishwashing. Anything that makes it a little easier, is a plus. And having been through this once, I feel much more prepared for a second round. </div>
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Here are the Top 3 gadgets that I recommend: </div>
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1. A Salad Spinner</div>
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<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00004OCKR/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B00004OCKR&linkCode=as2&tag=fabulobroketw-20&linkId=PKDSU5TBMCR4CDGL"><img border="0" src="http://ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?_encoding=UTF8&ASIN=B00004OCKR&Format=_SL250_&ID=AsinImage&MarketPlace=US&ServiceVersion=20070822&WS=1&tag=fabulobroketw-20" /></a><img alt="" border="0" src="http://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=fabulobroketw-20&l=as2&o=1&a=B00004OCKR" height="1" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" />
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I know a lot of folks who have one and don't use it, but mine gets a ton of use. Especially with our CSA greens. I have found that if I prep greens right away, I am much more likely to eat time. We got <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00004OCKR/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B00004OCKR&linkCode=as2&tag=fabulobroketw-20&linkId=PKDSU5TBMCR4CDGL">this one</a><img alt="" border="0" src="http://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=fabulobroketw-20&l=as2&o=1&a=B00004OCKR" height="1" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" />
as a wedding gift.<br />
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2. A Spiralizer<br />
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<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0007Y9WHQ/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B0007Y9WHQ&linkCode=as2&tag=fabulobroketw-20&linkId=LSSTOOE7FA3CYXRY"><img border="0" src="http://ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?_encoding=UTF8&ASIN=B0007Y9WHQ&Format=_SL250_&ID=AsinImage&MarketPlace=US&ServiceVersion=20070822&WS=1&tag=fabulobroketw-20" /></a><img alt="" border="0" src="http://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=fabulobroketw-20&l=as2&o=1&a=B0007Y9WHQ" height="1" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" />
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This thing is awesome! I asked for one for my birthday last year, just as I was finishing my first Whole30. I was gifted <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0007Y9WHQ/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B0007Y9WHQ&linkCode=as2&tag=fabulobroketw-20&linkId=XEQBGAH7MVPVHCZU">this bad boy</a><img alt="" border="0" src="http://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=fabulobroketw-20&l=as2&o=1&a=B0007Y9WHQ" height="1" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" />, and have found it super easy to use and clean. Although watch out because those blades are sharp! Spiraled beets are some of my favorite, but there are so many things that you can spiralize. And it just makes things fun.<br />
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3. Poach Pods<br />
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<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000P6FD3I/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B000P6FD3I&linkCode=as2&tag=fabulobroketw-20&linkId=4XTFE3LWYHCAIJCB"><img border="0" src="http://ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?_encoding=UTF8&ASIN=B000P6FD3I&Format=_SL250_&ID=AsinImage&MarketPlace=US&ServiceVersion=20070822&WS=1&tag=fabulobroketw-20" /></a><img alt="" border="0" src="http://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=fabulobroketw-20&l=as2&o=1&a=B000P6FD3I" height="1" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" />
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My mom got <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000P6FD3I/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B000P6FD3I&linkCode=as2&tag=fabulobroketw-20&linkId=4XTFE3LWYHCAIJCB">these</a><img alt="" border="0" src="http://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=fabulobroketw-20&l=as2&o=1&a=B000P6FD3I" height="1" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" />
for me as a gift awhile back, and I initially thought they were totally weird. But I love to make poached eggs and they keep the eggs nice and contained while cooking, making clean up much easier. No more floaty egg white to sift out of the water. During Whole30, I tend to eat eggs pretty much every day, so these are getting a ton of use right now.<br />
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Do you have any favorite kitchen gadgets?Kirstinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12429378852637507315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7197276354469568706.post-67511847929024722352015-07-31T17:34:00.000-05:002015-07-31T17:34:00.578-05:00PhDs and Perfectionism<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibNLAuvGeD2ZlpJjBvRk-Ohg96RxpuBCXzah-I9NTkbtCRkwk0OfjwykQ2yBSVKQ9BQvJVgFOqbFZPpCE0CkdBlMx39_Z3YItIWr-y2AOhhYcBzP8DLYJhSbn37lOv9La1qsKekVfNlfvE/s1600/10007429_10101742059924910_2006054511_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibNLAuvGeD2ZlpJjBvRk-Ohg96RxpuBCXzah-I9NTkbtCRkwk0OfjwykQ2yBSVKQ9BQvJVgFOqbFZPpCE0CkdBlMx39_Z3YItIWr-y2AOhhYcBzP8DLYJhSbn37lOv9La1qsKekVfNlfvE/s320/10007429_10101742059924910_2006054511_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Encouragement from Dr. Brown is gonna get me through this!</td></tr>
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Something big happened this past semester. I made a commitment to taking the next step with my degree, and completed my oral exams. I am officially a PhD candidate and have been approved to move forward with my research. If you know me, this is pretty momentous.<br />
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I've been sitting on this egg for awhile. So long, in fact, that I learned through the process of setting up my exams that I actually ran out of time to work on my degree two summers ago. I am currently waiting to hear back on my appeal for an extension. As I wrote the letter explaining my need for more time and outlining my steps to complete my degree in a timely fashion from here, it was an opportunity to reflect on this journey to PhD. Where I have been. Where I am at. Where I need to go.<br />
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I feel like a totally different person now than the person I was when I started back in January 2008. That woman was a brand new student affairs professional who somewhat reluctantly agreed to take a class with some colleagues who just wanted to "try it out." All three of us then found ourselves enrolling in a program. I didn't know what it felt like to not be in the classroom. My entire identity had revolved around being a student for 24 years.<br />
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When I look at who I am now, it is just so different. Since starting PhD program, I have moved back to my hometown, changed jobs, changed my research topic, changed my advisor, got married, and am now looking to what is ahead for me and my newly-formed family. As I wrote about life changes in my appeal letter, part of me really wanted to write: "What I most look forward to is being done and not being a student any more. That's my assurance to you that I will work to achieve my new deadline. I've got other sh*t to do and dreams to achieve. I am finally ready to check this one off the list. P.S. No one is more annoyed than me that I've taken so long."<br />
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I also couldn't bring myself to write that one of my delays is because I have had more than one moment of feeling like "who the heck am I to be doing this?" I have written about that <a href="http://fabulouslybroketwentysomething.blogspot.com/2013/01/my-secret.html" target="_blank">before</a>. It took me two years to get to a place of confidence to have someone else look at the proposal I had written and give feedback, and another 9 months before I was ready to send it to my advisor for the first time. I was so nervous about her feedback, that I wouldn't open her e-mail and notes for months after that. I was afraid her edits would question the worthiness of my proposed study,<br />
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It's not that I've ever forgotten that I'm a student. It is that it is easier to push that identity aside rather than spend time dealing with why this has been so hard. To fill my life with other distractions like reading books for fun and kitty snuggles. I am not lazy - in many of those moments of kitten snuggles, I was up in my own head, thinking about my work. I was not procrastinating for the heck of it. It is the perfectionist in me that pushed aside my work and thought that it wasn't good enough to share. That if I passed it on to my advisor, she would tear it apart or deem that the topic for which I am incredibly passionate and that I was ready to invest my time into researching further wasn't a worthwhile study. After I finally opened them, I kicked myself because there wasn't even that much I needed to change. I could have completed my oral exams months earlier and already have been well into my research.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
This is my constant struggle. I wish that I could guarantee that the self doubt is gone. I am sure it isn't. But I just have to push past it and chug along. Passing my exams gave me that first big push. And now IRB has given me approval to proceed, participant recruitment is underway, and I've set my finish date as May 2016. I couldn't be more excited to actually be able to start collecting data and learning from the participants' experiences.<br />
<br />
Momentum.Kirstinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12429378852637507315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7197276354469568706.post-3930799978376415482015-07-21T17:25:00.000-05:002015-07-21T17:25:00.113-05:00Abundance<br />
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I am back for round two with a CSA, and surrounded by all things green! I love it.<br />
<br />
Back in summer 2012, my mom, sister, and I shared a weekly CSA. I think the best word to describe that experience would definitely be overwhelming. I don't think we were prepared for some of the logistical challenges or the sheer abundance that we encountered with each weekly delivery.<br />
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Fast forward to 2015, and my sister and I decided to give it another go. She had done a winter CSA, and with my Whole30 experience, I think we both went into this feeling much more prepared.<br />
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We signed up with <a href="http://lotfotl.com/" target="_blank">LOTFOTL Community Farm (Living Off the Fat of the Land)</a>, and are very excited about a few things they do:<br />
<ul>
<li>They offer a smaller share option, which they encourage for CSA beginners. It's a reasonable amount to split between two people, and has some adventurous items, but not quite as many as their larger box. </li>
<li>They have a swap box! We love to open and see what's in the swap box. We have taken good advantage of the swap box if we find there is something we would more likely eat. </li>
<li>They have an awesome newsletter with great recipes and tips. Very helpful when familiarizing yourself with garlic scapes or celtuce for the first time. Plus, knowing what is coming helps for better meal planning. </li>
</ul>
My main goal for this CSA experience is to keep up with it. So far, so good.<br />
<br />
<b>My other Top Five Strategies:</b><br />
<br />
<b>1. Clean all of the greens right away and store them in the salad spinner.</b> Seriously, this contraption is magic.<br />
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<b>2. Cook and eat some of the veggies right away. </b>This might seem obvious, but because we pick up our new veggies on Thursday, it's easy to skip on cooking through the weekend, and then I'm not even touching our produce until Sunday/Monday. At which point, I'm freaking out because there's another delivery on it's way in just a few days. When I commit using some of the veggies right away during our Thursday dinner, I feel a lot more committed to eating them through the weekend, even if we do eat out.<br />
<br />
<b>3. When in doubt, roast or grill it.</b> Roasted radishes? Who knew! My sister taught me that life is easier if you just toss stuff in olive oil and a little salt and pepper, and then just keep it in the fridge for salad toppings.<br />
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<b>4. Save scraps for stock.</b> I have been making overnight chicken stock in my crock pot for awhile, but have recently started making vegetable stock too. It's a great way to use up the odds and ends. You can't use everything, but most things find their way into a plastic bag in the freezer for future use.<br />
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<b>5. Keep track of what you have. </b>I put a list on the fridge of all of the veggies in the crisper drawer, so that it's not "out of sight, out of mind."<br />
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Have you done a CSA? What are some of your best recipes for your surprise veggies?Kirstinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12429378852637507315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7197276354469568706.post-1494042540077557112015-05-13T10:52:00.003-05:002015-05-13T10:52:56.827-05:00Tears<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaV1zfWrbG4z37Y9uaMms236ptweeSff5THVfLF3KbGT7EDy5_zzaeuMKOSNH1mHHOQrMvEt4CcP0KfrndUT7a1GK_QROiUlUjH4TZzrmvG7CoXv4BwfkcVmAJe4-00viTFmuBBgl0vvlx/s1600/Kirstin+&+Chris+DeMartino+_0707.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaV1zfWrbG4z37Y9uaMms236ptweeSff5THVfLF3KbGT7EDy5_zzaeuMKOSNH1mHHOQrMvEt4CcP0KfrndUT7a1GK_QROiUlUjH4TZzrmvG7CoXv4BwfkcVmAJe4-00viTFmuBBgl0vvlx/s640/Kirstin+&+Chris+DeMartino+_0707.jpg" width="364" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo by Lisa Mathewson Photography</td></tr>
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<br />
There is a photo from our wedding that I think about often. Almost a year later, the moment sticks with me. A bride ugly crying while her mom holds her and cries with her too. Beautiful and ugly at the same time.<br />
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It was captured in a moment where, amidst all of the happiness and joy of the day, I was deeply sad. I knew that our wedding day had the potential to be particularly hard, but I had no idea how it would hit me in that moment, watching Chris and his mom dance. That the ever present hole that is there would open up just a little bit wider in that moment and release all the feels right in the middle of something beautiful. Sadness. Embarrassment. Jealousy. Guilt. Shame.<br />
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Today marks 9 years since we said goodbye to my dad. I don't feel the loss in days. I feel it in moments. I am still learning how to miss someone this much.<br />
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The tears can be tough. But they can also be healing.<br />
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<br />Kirstinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12429378852637507315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7197276354469568706.post-89260296939510459022015-03-13T20:19:00.000-05:002015-03-13T20:22:43.913-05:00Spring Goals<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
It feels dangerous to even say the word...Spring.<br />
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Living in Wisconsin, I realize that we could still see some chilly weather ahead. Yet with some warm temps right now and the snow melting away, I can't help but get excited for fresh air and a change of season. Which also means it's a great time for new goals!<br />
<br />
Looking back at my <a href="http://fabulouslybroketwentysomething.blogspot.com/2015/01/winter-goals.html" target="_blank">winter goals</a>, my focus was definitely on finding focus. Focus in what I'm eating, focus on productivity and work. It all felt very serious. Which has definitely been great and I've done well. In mid-February, I completed my first Whole 30, and am continuing to carry a lot of the concepts forward. We have also done very well with grocery shopping, meal planning, and eating at home more. It has been great. And now, along with the fresh and air sunshine, I'd like to bring in more fun for spring!<br />
<br />
In honor of the first day of Spring Break, here are my spring goals:<br />
<br />
<b>Eat: </b>Pie! On <a href="http://www.theguardian.com/science/2015/mar/13/pi-day-celebratiohttp://www.theguardian.com/science/2015/mar/13/pi-day-celebration-maths-fans-language-memory-contestsn-maths-fans-language-memory-contests" target="_blank">Pi Day</a> of course! This year is the most-Pi Day of all Pi Days, as it will be 3/14/15. So in celebration with my fellow nerds across the world, I'll be eating some pie at 9:26 am tomorrow.<br />
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<b>Drink: </b>Some Guinness for St. Patty's Day. It brings me back to our awesome honeymoon in Ireland, and I love celebrating our Irish heritage. Responsibly, of course. No need for a green beer, give me the good stuff (although, it definitely does taste better in Ireland, in case you were curious). I am also excited to check out the St. Patty's parade here in Milwaukee tomorrow.<br />
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<b>Read: </b>More books! I've finished 12 of the 52 for this year already in the <a href="http://www.popsugar.com/love/Reading-Challenge-2015-36071458" target="_blank">Pop Sugar Ultimate Reading Challenge</a>. Right now I am reading Looking for Alaska by John Green, to check off "A popular author's first book." I would love suggestions for the following categories if you have them:<br />
<ul>
<li>A book written by someone under 30</li>
<li>A funny book</li>
<li>A book of short stories</li>
<li>A book with antonyms in the title</li>
<li>A book with bad reviews (?)</li>
<li>A graphic novel</li>
<li>A book by an author with my initials...KD...anyone?</li>
</ul>
<b>Watch:</b> The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt on Netflix. Have you seen it? It's totally spunky and upbeat - the perfect show for Ellie Kemper. After binge watching House of Cards Season Three in one season, it's also the exact opposite kind of show. Which is great for restoring my hope in the world.<br />
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<b>Listen:</b> To audio books! I've been mixing in audio books with my podcasts, which is part of how I've been able to get through books more quickly. Why not listen to a book while doing dishes or folding laundry? It's great! And I love a good funny book, like Yes, Please! by Amy Poehler, Bossypants by Tina Fey, or Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me by Mindy Kaling. <br />
<br />
<b>Wear: </b>Clothes from my new slimmed down closet. One of my decluttering tasks over the winter was to pare down to the basics in my closet. Those items that I really love and/or wear all the time. It's amazing how many things I pulled out that either still had tags on them, or were just not in great shape to keep wearing. Or those items that I don't feel my best in when I wear them. Right now all of the items that came out are in a temporary storage location (laundry basket). If I pull them out to wear over the next few months, they are in consideration to make a return to the closet. Otherwise, they'll go.<br />
<br />
<b>Finish: </b>Decluttering. Right now it's still in progress, which also means our house is a bit messy. So I need to wrap this up so we can do a thorough spring clean.<br />
<br />
<b>Plan:</b> For our garage sale! We have now been in our place for over three years, and we've definitely accumulated stuff along the way that could do well to find a new home. Plus there is all that stuff that we moved in and put directly in our basement and haven't looked at in years. Once the snow melts, it will be time to put out our junk for others to find and love.<br />
<br />
<b>Create: </b>An inviting space in our dining room that isn't a dining room. A sitting room, perhaps? Previously, it has been a room primarily functioning as a drop space for clutter. We took out the desk - the biggest drop zone we have, and are in the process of cleaning and re-imagining the space. I think it could be a great place for reading books. Stay tuned!<br />
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<b>Find: </b>Calm through Yoga and Meditation. I know that many folks find yoga to be an important part of their wellness routine. The first few times I tried it didn't go very well, and so I have always resisted going back. And then, I finally decided to just give it a shot again and signed up through a class at work. It is on Fridays over the lunch hour, and the first class was great. I'm excited to go back. And I'm doing another meditation cycle with the Deepak and Oprah 21-day meditation experience on Manifesting True Success which starts on Monday. <br />
<br />
<b>Stop:</b> Making excuses and start running again. I really do miss running. Hoping to train for a fall half marathon again and also add some fun runs into my summer. I know it won't be fun to get started again after so much sitting on my butt, but it's worth the tough part to get back into shape.<br />
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<b>Go: </b>To Boston! We are so excited to make a spring trip out East. We will get to see family, go to a few Red Sox games, and explore the city a bit. I'm taking any suggestions folks have of must-sees and must-eats in Beantown. Send 'em my way!<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>Celebrate: </b>One year of marriage to the best person in the whole world! I can't wait for our first anniversary in May.<br />
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What are your spring goals?!Kirstinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12429378852637507315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7197276354469568706.post-24929604778257242102015-02-03T20:37:00.001-06:002015-02-03T22:17:54.074-06:00Time<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
One of the first unspoken expectations that I think most folks hear and internalize when they go into Student Affairs is that your time is not your own. I don't think we are outright told this, but it is made pretty clear in most job descriptions that student affairs means working nights and weekends. It makes sense - student life doesn't happen in the 9 to 5. Some jobs are more regular business hours than others, but you can usually find folks still on campus in some office after the official work day has ended. And often, how our time is spent often feels established by the students with whom we work.<br />
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My entry into student affairs involved a graduate assistantship where I was regularly working over the 20 hours I was paid for. I'm not alone, I have found that is true for most grads. Eager for experience and opportunities to learn, they cram it all in and say yes to everything, just like I did. A snarky twentysomething at the time, I once turned in my actual hours for the week on my timesheet. It was somewhere around 55, and I don't know that it was even a week with a giant program. That was quickly met with an e-mail reminding me "We can only pay you for twenty hours, so you can only put twenty on the timesheet. Please redo this." Message received. I knew what I was doing and that it would get sent back, but I also wanted to make sure there was an awareness of how my time was being spent. I didn't repeat it, but I did continue to track for myself.<br />
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When I jumped into my first job, eager to build relationships with students and be a "good advisor," I made sure to be at every single meeting and event. It was important to me to show my students that I was investing in them, and that I cared about them being successful as leaders and in their organizations. I was living in a new city where I didn't know too many folks, minus colleagues from work who became friends, and the two grad school friends who had also moved to the same city. We all had crazy hours, and throwing ourselves into work was just what we all did. When we weren't working, we were together, commiserating about all of the hours we worked. I distinctly remember a moment where a coworker and I asked our boss if we could move into one of the student apartments on campus so that we didn't have to worry about the time it would take to get home to our own places and sleep in our own beds. Our office had a couch that more than one of us napped on. If it had a shower, we would have been set and moved right in. Thankfully, once we got some sleep in us, we realized that was probably a terrible idea.<br />
<br />
Things took a turn when a new supervisor set the policy that, no matter how late we worked the night before, we were expected to be in the office from 8:30-5 pm everyday. We were a business, and there would be no such thing as flexing our hours. For those of us averaging more than a few nights leaving campus at 11 pm or later due to student meetings/events and late night programs, it became clear that the value wasn't necessarily on our health and well being as individuals. It was also made quite clear that if we didn't want to do it any more, another fresh graduate of a students affairs program would gladly take our entry-level student affairs job. As this message was delivered, I watched a colleague crumble inside. She would regularly work a 24-hour day when she'd be leading students through concert production. And she was told that didn't matter. Because our supervisor lived to work, so should we. I imagine that this is sadly also a shared experience for some others in the field, although I hope less and less so.<br />
<br />
A former supervisor, who had experienced major health issues after basically wearing herself out trying to keep up, told us to be careful and not make the same mistakes that she did. At that point, many of us chose to move on, because it simply wouldn't be sustainable any longer and we weren't feeling valued. The quality of experience we were creating didn't matter as much as being present in the office did. Although I left that position then, I will admit that it has taken me almost four years to realize how much that experience has impacted how I have viewed and valued myself as a student affairs professional. While it should have said more about her, I took it for what it said about me - that I couldn't hack it any more and that I was easily replaceable. <br />
<br />
When I started my current position, I didn't actually have many night and weekend commitments. My position was brand new, and I had the opportunity to define much of what I'd be doing. Exactly the type of position I love. But one that can be dangerous for someone like me. I found the standard hours to be boring and missing the excitement of student meetings and events. Over the past four years, my position has grown around me as we have built new things. I started out advising one group, and now advise seven. I have given the opportunity to help plan campus traditions. Every new meeting or event has been something connected to my personal philosophy of student affairs and the mission of our program and department. And most of them are things that I considered highly important. It wasn't until this past December that I realized I hadn't seen much of my husband since our October honeymoon had ended. Our glorious honeymoon where I had time to relax, explore, and eat. Between both of our work commitments, our schedules were out of sync. And we needed another one already for some quality time together.<br />
<br />
The thing is, most of the time, the time commitment was and is honestly really fun. I got into the field because my passion is helping students to develop their passions - and I actually get to do it, everyday. Some of my favorite memories are from spending spring break on service trips to Appalachia with fraternity & sorority leaders, bonding over gummi bears and cheese balls while on a retreat, or traveling to a conference. Why would I say no to this? The night and weekend events are some of the best parts of my job. And when the students you advise ask you to come to a program or event that they've planned, or actually enjoy you sitting in on their meetings, you don't question it. You just do.<br />
<br />
But the whole thing goes back to sustainability. Burnout is huge in our field, which I don't think is a surprise. So many student affairs professionals invest all that they have into their jobs until they don't have anything to give anymore. I am not there yet, but I was definitely feeling drained as the fall semester closed. And I began to realize that my ability to keep doing what I have been doing is running out. If Chris and I had a family tomorrow, we wouldn't be able to handle our current schedule. It's not happening tomorrow, but it's a possibility that I want to be able to consider without being completely overwhelmed. <br />
<br />
So I consciously made an ask to my supervisor. "My goal for next semester is to work less nights and weekends." I asked for permission to try to get students to move some of their meetings to business hours. Or to at least help me stack them so that I might stay one or two nights a week. He not only said "of course," he also encouraged me to set my boundaries and stick to them. He values my personal wellness, and that sometimes simply not being at work is important.<br />
<br />
Although I was nervous to do it, I simply put out the ask to the students with whom I work.<br />
<br />
"Hey, one of the things I'm trying to work on is better work/life integration. I know that scheduling meetings across a bunch of folks is hard, but could we possibly look at meetings either during the work day, or right at 5 pm? I'm hoping to avoid nights where I'm here later as I'm feeling stretched. If later works better, I'd like to limit to no more than two nights a week"<br />
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The responses I got were awesome. I don't know what exactly I was expecting, but not a single person questioned what I was asking. Y'all, Students Get It.<br />
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I will repeat for fellow Student Affairs Pros who need to hear it again: Students Get It.<br />
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At one meeting, a student said "I totally respect that" when I admitted that I was trying to have more time with family.<br />
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Another sent out the e-mail asking fellow members to share their availability and that we were looking for late afternoon or early evening hours, without even mentioning that it was to accommodate me.<br />
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When one meeting was scheduled for 8:30 pm on Thursdays because that was the only time that worked for members, I asked if I could call into the meeting from home, rather than coming back to campus. The students agreed that was totally reasonable and that we would do what we needed to do to make it work. My commute is fairly short, but calling in while sitting on my couch in sweatpants makes a huge psychological difference, especially if I have already gone home.<br />
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It's amazing how many meetings we were able to make work at 3 or 4 pm. It is doable. And it doesn't make me a bad student affairs professional. I like to think I'm modeling better choices. I will still be on campus some nights for evening programs and events, but it will be on a more reasonable schedule. And it will mean more dinners at home.<br />
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I have come to the conclusion that time is all that we really have. Things don't really matter. How we spend our time and the experiences that we create with that time do. Even the ones that are seemingly mundane. Sometimes the greatest joy I get is from throwing a glitter ball for my overweight cat and watching her eyes get big as she wiggles her butt, ready to chase. Or sharing in the shoveling responsibilities with my husband, on snowy days like today. Or taking the time to make a dinner with delicious ingredients, and then sitting down to enjoy. Jack's Pizza is great (don't argue me on that), but I enjoy not eating it three nights a week because I'm cooking dinner at 7 or 8 pm and I know that it takes exactly 13 minutes at 425 degrees. Time spent meal planning, cleaning my apartment, and preparing for the week ahead is time well spent.<br />
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I wrote this tonight because I know how many others share parts of this story. I am thankful to know friends and colleagues who have made choices to focus on different parts of their lives and to message that it's okay to reflect, reevaluate, and make changes. At the end of the day, I am still achieving my goal of helping students find their passions. I am still getting my work done. And most of the time, when I feel that sense of urgency on something, it's usually coming from me, and only me. That's a tough reminder with all going on in the State of Wisconsin around higher education right now. It's easy to feel undervalued. I think many folks do. But I can choose to continue to do good in my work and to stay student-centered.<br />
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For me, 2015 is about taking the opportunity to rewrite my story. I do not have to be stressed and overwhelmed. I can be healthy in what I am eating, how and with whom I am spending my time, and what I am telling myself about my value. I am choosing joy. <br />
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<br />Kirstinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12429378852637507315noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7197276354469568706.post-42383202836110680912015-01-27T21:26:00.001-06:002015-01-27T21:26:06.990-06:00All About the Veggies - A Whole30 Update<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9dz8_WJXjFs2RwRggKQOTOTOEBZP-YgPJ6no8VK_WN6shhWo-U90kW1Orkl4ZGbwEvHDyL0PyNQePcRQjvns3YkzFDvIWsczHn6XlETPnF4dfmh2IMEVtAETDQbV9Rv-6XrmOTz0Y6GOB/s1600/IMG_2249.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9dz8_WJXjFs2RwRggKQOTOTOEBZP-YgPJ6no8VK_WN6shhWo-U90kW1Orkl4ZGbwEvHDyL0PyNQePcRQjvns3YkzFDvIWsczHn6XlETPnF4dfmh2IMEVtAETDQbV9Rv-6XrmOTz0Y6GOB/s1600/IMG_2249.JPG" height="400" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Tonight's Salsa Chicken</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
You may have seen in my <a href="http://fabulouslybroketwentysomething.blogspot.com/2015/01/winter-goals.html" target="_blank">winter goals post</a> that I'm currently doing Whole30. Today marks Day Sixteen. Past the halfway mark and I'm feeling great!<br />
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If you haven't heard of <a href="http://whole30.com/step-one/" target="_blank">Whole30</a>, it's basically a 30-day nutritional reset. You take out all processed foods, as well as sugar, dairy, legumes, and grains, with the plan to get rid of your cravings and get your digestive and immune systems back to a better place. It's also used by folks to figure out if they might have food allergies or sensitivities that are contributing to them feeling icky. It's not a diet, exactly. You don't count calories. Yes, most folks lose weight. But that isn't the purpose, and you aren't supposed to weigh yourself while participating. Some folks just do it for thirty days. Others adopt the principles as a lifestyle change.<br />
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Basically, for thirty days I am focused on eating fruits, veggies, eggs, meat, and some nuts and seeds.<br />
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For me, signing up for this was about a few things:<br />
<ul>
<li>Noticing and hopefully changing some of my bad habits. I eat a ton of snacks, none of them good for me. And I'm not good about eating them in moderation. If there is a box of Cheeze-Its in our house, they never last very long. Lots of salty processed snacks and a whole lot of sugar - that needs to go.</li>
<li>Introducing more fruits and veggies into my diet. I buy them. But they typically go to the crisper drawer to die. I am much more likely to be eating convenience food, and making meal time decisions at meal time, rather than planning ahead and ensuring a healthy balance of nutrients. On Whole30, I am eating a huge portion of veggies at every meal, even breakfast. It's an adjustment, but a positive one. </li>
<li>Eating real food. I tend to take advantage of a lot of convenience food. Mainly due to lack of planning and/or laziness. There isn't room for that here!</li>
<li>I'm also hoping for the benefits of: better sleep, clearer skin, and more energy. Especially during winter, I'm super lethargic. And while the weather and hours of darkness are a key part of that, I'd imagine some of what I'm eating is a contributing factor.</li>
</ul>
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So how is it going so far? Well, Day One and Two were pretty hard. I think that was mainly because I wasn't super excited about what I was eating those days. I actually woke up with a migraine on Day One, and so my day was pretty thrown off eating wise. I still followed the plan, but I didn't eat anything until almost 2:30 in the afternoon because I wasn't sure I'd be able to keep it down (gross, I know). When I'm sick all I want is ginger ale and crackers, but I made it work and didn't cheat. But an unexpected Day One also meant that I didn't get to the grocery store, and so I was pretty limited for options for Day Two. I never had any headaches from taking out the soda and grains, like some folks have, but I was certainly a little crabby/hungry most of the day. I also spent a lot of time thinking about what I couldn't have on those days. I was craving anything and everything, even stuff I wouldn't usually want, like pudding. All I was thinking about was food.</div>
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But Days Three-Fifteen have been great! I've been excited about my meals and have found that I look forward to different things than I would have in the past. And little things like including fresh herbs on a salad or grabbing a handful of olives for a little something extra with my meal make a huge difference. I am also usually feeling full and satisfied. I've had several meals where I couldn't finish the whole lunch I packed. No hunger. </div>
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Some of the things I've noticed:<br />
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<b>I'm spending a lot more time cooking and doing dishes.</b> That shouldn't have been a huge surprise, as I've cut out a lot of the convenience food. But I have to think beyond just my next meal to three meals a day throughout the week. This means that sometimes I'm not just cooking our dinner, but also chopping veggies for my lunch the next day, while simultaneously hard-boiling eggs so that I'll have them for breakfast for the rest of the week. Lots of dirty dishes at our house.<br />
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<b>Our grocery bill is a little bit higher.</b> I'm doing my best to find good meat and produce deals and to not overbuy, but with the much high quantities of meat and veggies being consumed, it's definitely a change. But...<br />
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<b>We are eating out a lot less.</b> This includes our "we're too lazy to cook tonight" trips for fast food and those mid-day trips down to get a snack or a coffee. So I would imagine our grocery bill will even out with the other food we usually buy.<br />
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<b>Planning is huge.</b> To make sure that we aren't wasting leftovers or throwing away rotten produce, I have to make a plan for the week, shop accordingly, defrost things on time, and stay on track. No last minute "what do I want to have decisions.<br />
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<b>Finding meals that work for both of us is important. </b>Chris isn't doing Whole30 with me, but it is important to me that we are eating mostly the same thing. Sometimes it means that eat spaghetti squash and sauce while Chris has spaghetti. Or my taco meat is on a salad, while his is in a shell. There are a lot of more adventurous recipes online look delicious, but may not work for the two of us. But you can totally do this with the basics, like grilled meat and veggies, without it getting too boring.<br />
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<b>While there are foods that I miss, I don't crave them in the same way. </b>Sure, I have a pang of jealousy when someone walks past with french fries, and going to the movies and not getting popcorn is hard, but I don't feel the urge to instantly go get every food that I think of. When I already have a plan for what I am eating, I am so much less likely to deviate with a piece of pizza or a burger. My hope is that those would become an every once in awhile treat, rather than a regular part of my week. And I do have some foods that feel like a treat....almond butter!</div>
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<b>We have also found some great new recipes. </b>Some of the things I've eaten this month:</div>
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<ul>
<li>Taco salad bowls</li>
<li>Crockpot beef stew</li>
<li>Turkey burger sliders with sweet potato buns</li>
<li>Eggs, eggs, and more eggs! Not sick of em yet. </li>
<li>Mini-meatloafs</li>
<li>Baked citrus chicken</li>
<li>Pork chops with apples and onions</li>
<li>Thai red curry with chicken and veggies, plus cauliflower rice</li>
<li>Healing chicken soup</li>
<li>Crockpot salsa chicken</li>
</ul>
Here's to a bunch of other great meals during the second half! <br />
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Kirstinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12429378852637507315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7197276354469568706.post-2873762818567179602015-01-26T18:36:00.000-06:002015-01-26T18:36:40.246-06:00Dinner for Two<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhrO-RfxYVIMMlNNrBX-xlHo33G4rzQtIfnQ1j9cw8w7Y2HgdJi6-OgKTiV_kotZqzO8V_Lgnx5TCsNARr9UB7zHls2sYBzLaFxBSMB5D4L6vhrHAana5AzrOJoTJriZn2LT_Sv-l6LrDV/s1600/IMG_2244.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhrO-RfxYVIMMlNNrBX-xlHo33G4rzQtIfnQ1j9cw8w7Y2HgdJi6-OgKTiV_kotZqzO8V_Lgnx5TCsNARr9UB7zHls2sYBzLaFxBSMB5D4L6vhrHAana5AzrOJoTJriZn2LT_Sv-l6LrDV/s1600/IMG_2244.JPG" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
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It started with a couch.<br />
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When we got back from our honeymoon, we bought a couch that we'd been eyeing for some time. <a href="http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/S39840652/#/S59897261" target="_blank">This beauty</a>. A couch that led to an adventure to/from the Chicago suburbs twice in one day, and couch assembly beginning around 11:30 pm. Long story.<br />
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Our old couch told the story of cat snuggles and more than one food spill that didn't quite come out. We were determined to keep from staining this one, at least anytime soon.<br />
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But the thing is, we eat most of our meals at our couch. Or at least we did. It's a habit that we both got into while living alone that sort of carried over when we began living together. Not out of any bad intention, just something that happened. My guess is that eating in front of the tv surrounded by devices is pretty normal for most single folks - there's some comfort in the noise. We have a kitchen table that was used more for drying clean dishes (no dishwasher), storing our yet-to-be-used wedding presents, and as a work station for my dissertation research.<br />
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So we set out to make our kitchen a bit more organized, and to eat our dinners at the table. Together. At dinner time. It might seem like a silly goal, but as there are many nights and weekends that one of us is working or volunteering, it was a habit that we would have to build.<br />
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We've been eating dinner in our little kitchen nook regularly for a month now. It's nice. It is a built-in time to catch up with each other without being distracted or semi-present because of a show on tv or something on our phones. And we eat more real food. Side salads almost every night - what?! Feels so grown up. It has also kept me focused on having a plan for meals and not just throwing in a Jack's pizza at the last minute because nothing is defrosted or we don't have the right ingredients. I get excited about picking out what we are going to have and cooking and dishes don't quite seem so tedious.<br />
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I think it also is keeping me focused on prioritizing family. I want to be home for dinner every night that I can. Because it's special. And it's our time together.<br />
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<br />Kirstinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12429378852637507315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7197276354469568706.post-79056464003133984502015-01-05T17:27:00.000-06:002015-01-05T17:27:00.032-06:00Winter Goals<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My first Winter project!</td></tr>
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The holiday season is over, and it's safe to say that it's officially winter. With the dumping of snow we got over the weekend, followed by some chilly temps, we just can't deny it any more.<br />
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I decided to set some Winter Goals to create some motivation to push me through the lack of sunshine.<br />
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<b>Eat:</b> Good, healthy, non-processed foods.<b> </b>Because for the next month, I'm doing Whole30 with a friend. It's time for a bit of a reset after the holidays. It's not so much about weight loss, but rather getting rid of some of my bad habits. We start next week!<br />
<b><br /></b><b>Drink: </b>Tea. Delicious tea. Warms me right up on a cold evening, and goes great with the latest book or knitting project.<br />
<b><br /></b><b>Read: </b>52 books this year! I've already finished the first two. To keep it interesting, I'm working on the <a href="http://www.popsugar.com/love/Reading-Challenge-2015-36071458" target="_blank">Pop Sugar Ultimate Reading Challenge</a>. So far I have crossed out: A book with a number in the title, and a book originally written in a different language. I'm working on a book that was made into a movie.<br />
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<b>Watch: </b>We started binge-watching Friends over the break and are now on season three. One of my goals is to supplement that with some of the different documentaries on there. Mix in some learning with the fun. I am also hoping to get to the movies a few more times - The Imitation Game, American Sniper, Wild, and Into the Woods are all on my list.<br />
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<b>Listen: </b>To the <a href="http://overduepodcast.com/" target="_blank">Overdue podcast</a>. It's two guys talking about books. I love books! I just found this recently, and have been listening to the episodes of the books that I've read while I'm cooking or doing the dishes. Then I'm planning to go back and listen to the episodes of the books I haven't read, to get some inspiration for new stuff to add to my reading list.<br />
<b><br /></b><b>Wear: </b>After wearing my jammies pretty much all break, it's back to dressing for work again. And this winter, I'm mixing in all of the awesome scarves I have!<br />
<b><br /></b><b>Make: </b>A vision board for 2015.<br />
<b><br /></b><b>Start: </b>Decluttering. I have a few different organization tasks that I hope to tackle during these weeks when the students are still away. Time to pitch, donate, and refocus on experiences instead of things. Step one is to take down our Christmas decorations.<br />
<b><br /></b><b>Finish: </b>My dissertation proposal edits. Still chugging right along, but hoping to focus a bit more.<br />
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<b>Stop: </b>Playing games on my phone. It's such a time suck, and keeps me from spending quality time with my husband. I'm working on other ways to decompress at the end of the day, like reading, listening to podcasts, and knitting again.<br />
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<b>Go: </b>On walks. Yes, this might sound crazy with how cold it is and the fact that I'm clumsy to begin with let alone when there is ice on the ground. However, I think that getting out into the fresh air for 20 minutes or so every day, will help me to keep from hibernating on my couch all winter long and becoming a grouchy pants.<br />
<b><br /></b><b>Find: </b>Time for cooking and meal planning. After the holidays, I'm ready to get back into a regular schedule and eat more meals together at our kitchen table. With Whole30, I have to do a lot of planning to make sure that I'm prepared and don't end up cheating and/or starving. But, I also have a lot more fun with cooking and try new recipes when I put time into our monthly meal plans. It's where I've found some of our favorite things to eat. <b> </b><br />
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<b>Focus: </b>On being productive. During the Winterim on campus, it can seem like we have all of the time in the world for planning. It really goes by fast though, and I want to make sure I make good progress on my projects.<br />
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What are your winter goals?Kirstinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12429378852637507315noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7197276354469568706.post-88221342036636355912014-12-31T22:57:00.001-06:002014-12-31T22:57:05.751-06:00Farewell to 2014!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.4799995422363px;">As the hours wind down, it's time to say goodbye to 2014 and hello to 2015.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.4799995422363px;">Chris and I continued our tradition of seeing a NYE movie: Unbroken. I highly recommend both the book and the movie. And now we are back on the couch, ready to watch the ball drop. Our favorite relaxed holiday.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.4799995422363px;">This year. Wow. So many things. So many AMAZING things:</span><br />
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<li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;">We got married. Drop the Mic.</li>
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I mean, right?! Nothing will top that.</span><div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.4799995422363px;">But I suppose I'd also like to celebrate: </span><br />
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<li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;">We had the opportunity to see new parts of the world. London, Paris, Dublin, Belfast, Galway - every stop was more to experience. And now I'm hungry to see more of the world.</li>
<li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;">Plus I wracked up a whole lot of US travel miles, both for work and for fun, including stops in Champaign, IL, New Orleans for a FREE trip with Rachel, getting to see my amazing friends Shiloh and Lucy tie the knot in Texas, and a holiday trip to Connecticut to close out the year.</li>
<li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;">A few great concerts, including DMB at Summerfest. </li>
<li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;">I submitted my dissertation proposal draft to my professor. Finally. I still need to do my oral exams and then I can start my research, but for me, actually putting my work forward for review is a big step. </li>
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There is a quote from Nora Zeale Hurston in Their Eyes Were Watching God that says "There are years that ask questions and years that answer." I used to have a theory about odd years and even years. That even years brought greater challenge, and odd brought greater celebration. That has proven less true for me lately. Now I am leaning more towards believing that every year has the potential to be great. And those with less celebratory moments just may be filled with more opportunities to learn and grow.<br />
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We will just have to see what 2015 brings.</div>
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Happy New Year y'all. </div>
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Kirstinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12429378852637507315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7197276354469568706.post-20155687162134451062014-12-04T16:37:00.001-06:002014-12-04T16:37:47.519-06:00Holiday/Winter Goals<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIHtvJdpZxXlYIii32bXsdhUmClYDZEFtEA1xk-7WG36zcNhR6WZnAxipvjDCMZ2UqJ0bJMHL9pxkE5B9uI5QpEG4UyvZFRW4X2ppJuBgm_66-yHX-jliwX6tb0Ef4y7NIJGnSQgqkDrlN/s1600/10806336_10102211249200840_2031870501823008335_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIHtvJdpZxXlYIii32bXsdhUmClYDZEFtEA1xk-7WG36zcNhR6WZnAxipvjDCMZ2UqJ0bJMHL9pxkE5B9uI5QpEG4UyvZFRW4X2ppJuBgm_66-yHX-jliwX6tb0Ef4y7NIJGnSQgqkDrlN/s1600/10806336_10102211249200840_2031870501823008335_n.jpg" height="400" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Our 2014 Christmas Tree!</td></tr>
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Fall has come and gone. It's officially December. Which I consider not yet Winter, but Holiday season! (although the snow we keep getting might argue otherwise)<br />
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I set some summer goals to help me focus on what was important and to not let the summer months fly by. Knowing that this time of year can be really overwhelming, I thought I would set some for the holidays as well.<br />
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<b>Eat: </b>More fruits and veggies. This is hard during the time when I just want comfort food and Christmas cookies. But I am on a mission to avoid the winter colds. And vitamins are key. Go vitamins!<br />
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<b>Drink: </b>Hot cocoa. Because yum. And not everything has to be a veggie.<br />
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<b>Read: </b>The books sitting on my shelves, both print and virtual. I seem to be hoarding books. And rather than getting a bunch of new ones, I am going to start with working my way through those I have downloaded or borrowed. I love getting some "fun" reading done over the holidays.<br />
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<b>Watch: </b>We watched all of the Thanksgiving episodes of Friends, on the Friday after Thanksgiving. One of our favorite traditions while putting up the Christmas tree. Which now means I am ready for all of the holiday classics. I'm a sucker for White Christmas, A Muppet Christmas Carol, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, and It's a Wonderful Life. We've already watched Love Actually, another Christmas favorite. I also love watching the Harry Potter movies this time of year.<br />
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<b>Wear: </b>My gorgeous Aran knit sweater that I got on our honeymoon in Ireland. Sweater weather is the best.<br />
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<b>Make: </b>A few new Christmas decorations. I try not to go overboard with the holiday craft projects (ehem, Pinterest), but there are a few that I'd like to add this year. <br />
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<b>Buy: </b>All. The. Things. Just kidding. Trying to NOT buy all of the things right now. Just some special gifts for the loved ones. And maybe a thing for me here and there.<br />
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<b>Bake: </b>Klejner. It's almost time for our family cookie weekend, one of my favorite annual traditions.<br />
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<b>Send: </b>Christmas cards! I won't be hand-making them this year, since we just ordered one with some of our wedding photos. I love both sending and receiving Christmas cards.<br />
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<b>Start: </b>Some winter deep cleaning. A messy house around the Holidays is never fun.<br />
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<b>Finish: </b>My dissertation proposal edits. Chugging right along.<br />
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<b>Find: </b>Some new exercise options for winter.<br />
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<b>Stop: </b>Staying up past my bedtime. I need more sleep. This weather makes me a bit groggy. I need all of the energy I can get.<br />
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<b>Go:</b> To all of the fun holiday events! Okay, maybe not all of them. But Milwaukee has some wonderful holiday celebrations, like <a href="http://www.historicthirdward.org/events/christmas.php" target="_blank">Christmas in the Ward</a> and the <a href="http://www.millercoors.com/News-Center/Latest-News/millercoors-holiday-lites-display-returns.aspx" target="_blank">Miller Holiday Lights tour</a>. I love celebrating.<br />
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<b>Visit: </b>My grandma. She's recovering from a spill on the ice from this pre-Thanksgiving snow we got. When I saw her in the hospital last week, she proudly proclaimed that she made it to 84 before breaking a bone. Not bad. I hope to be so lucky.<br />
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<b>Focus: </b>On Joy. It's going to be my 2015 word. Why not get 13 months out of it?<br />
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Happy December y'all!<br />
<br />Kirstinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12429378852637507315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7197276354469568706.post-36210007401823874082014-08-26T17:30:00.000-05:002014-08-26T17:30:00.092-05:00Lazy Days<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxHUI4Xb1ShSNpg144jzMW4SFse4GQZPsKRM66aLws3R0-YLLRWdsy-PlkVakE9Q855_WPUf4TZP7tKolcpRdXcW-e9PxkKrSVtm4vfnFj3QsR6Hw426em4mTgJAlYfRmw39wMUO59m8QJ/s1600/photo+(8).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxHUI4Xb1ShSNpg144jzMW4SFse4GQZPsKRM66aLws3R0-YLLRWdsy-PlkVakE9Q855_WPUf4TZP7tKolcpRdXcW-e9PxkKrSVtm4vfnFj3QsR6Hw426em4mTgJAlYfRmw39wMUO59m8QJ/s1600/photo+(8).JPG" height="400" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">No one is lazier than this one. Who apparently brought her bear to nap time.</td></tr>
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Oh hey.<br />
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I don't know what it is, but it has just been a lazy summer.<br />
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For the first time in a very long time, our summer has involved very few plans. No major trips (since the big one is still ahead), and really, only a few weekends where we had made plans in advance or had somewhere we had to be. It's been awesome. I have greatly enjoyed being able to sleep in on a Saturday, get up when I get up, and decide in the moment, "What do I want to do today?"<br />
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Some days were productive days. Trips to the farmer's market. Cleaning the whole apartment. Plus the all important honeymoon planning!<br />
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Some were made for exploring. We made it to German Fest, Irish Fest, Festa Italiana, the State Fair, and Bastille Days this year. Plus several trips to Summerfest, including to see Dave Matthews. My sister and I also got in a few trips to see our Grandma, who is still loving life in her 80s and killing me with her productivity. She does not slow down!<br />
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And still others were much more low key. I think I was averaging a book a week in June and July. A few, I read in one sitting. Plus, I watched all of Broadchurch, The Fall, True Detective, Top of the Lake, the final season of The Killing, and season two of Orange is the New Black. There was a lot of time spent on the couch. Except for the three times that we went to the movies this summer - I fell asleep in all three. Talk about an expensive nap.<br />
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It's been lovely. And just the refresher that I needed.<br />
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It's go time, folks. The students move in tomorrow, and this is about to get real.Kirstinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12429378852637507315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7197276354469568706.post-68501298327160045122014-08-11T22:23:00.001-05:002014-08-11T22:23:32.933-05:00Third Time is the Charm<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">This post contains affiliate links.</span></i></div>
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Last summer, I came across something pretty exciting. A service that shops for you. Yep, <a href="http://www.stitchfix.com/referral/3158059" target="_blank">Stitch Fix</a>.<br />
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You see, I don't really love shopping. While I used to love going to the mall in my younger years, now it feels like kind of a chore. The idea of sorting through racks is just not my thing. I'm much more likely to order clothes online.<br />
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So when I found Stitch Fix through the recommendation of a friend, I was eager to try it. For a $20 styling fee, you get 5 items sent to you - clothing or accessories. Based on the style profile that you complete on their site, the stylist does their best to find things that will flatter your body type and match your style. You decide what you want to keep, and then send the rest back. Plus your $20 is credited towards your purchase. Worth a shot.<br />
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My first fix was where I found this awesome top which I wore for my engagement photos. I loved it so much. While I got some other things that I didn't love as much, I was still excited to have one thing I was really excited about.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQHc4sO3fTObJs7b-psA-fhQQgoaLSAPsunDwLSZtCfBTOtMWXmDaST1RrDx86VZJLj3BVx18TypiLnhJzHhzfQDreGYe7I92ldKyhTbZVqzmzaphKBPXN03leY6OawP9ka6WLtUaIdJ1L/s1600/Kirstin+%2526+Chris_0047-2867195486-O.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQHc4sO3fTObJs7b-psA-fhQQgoaLSAPsunDwLSZtCfBTOtMWXmDaST1RrDx86VZJLj3BVx18TypiLnhJzHhzfQDreGYe7I92ldKyhTbZVqzmzaphKBPXN03leY6OawP9ka6WLtUaIdJ1L/s1600/Kirstin+%2526+Chris_0047-2867195486-O.jpg" height="400" width="266" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo by Lisa Mathewson Photography</td></tr>
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Loves it!</div>
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I gave the service another shot in December, right before going to a conference. My second Stitch Fix didn't have quite the same amount of success. I kept a magenta sleeveless top that I wear for work, but that wasn't a perfect match. I saw other friends and fellow bloggers finding these amazing outfits via their fixes, and didn't understand why my second one was so far off from my style. In fact, the service seems to have gotten so popular, that they have added staff to meet the demand. I was kind of bummed, and not sure if I was going to try again. </div>
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But I decided to try again, with our upcoming honeymoon in mind. With the start of the school year, there is just no way that I am going to have time to go shopping for anything for our trip. And while I am trying to save money for adventures, my wardrobe could definitely go for a refresh with a new piece or two. The first thing that I did was to go back and edit my profile a bit, per the suggestions of other folks who said to be really specific. The more feedback that you give, the better your fixes become along the way. I asked for pieces that would be good for our honeymoon - layering pieces that wouldn't take up a ton of room in my suitcase, since we are just taking carry ons. I also updated my Pinterest board, and sent that to them too.</div>
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My box came last week, and I was pretty excited just upon opening it. There's just something about the way that they wrap the neatly folded clothes that makes it even more special. </div>
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So, I'm going to share some shots of me trying on what I got. Let's not talk about the fact that my hair looks weird from taking clothes on and off, that the lighting is terrible and the shots are blurry, etc. Focus on the outfits. I'll include pictures of the little cards they sent so that you can see some other ways they suggest you style the pieces.</div>
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The first thing that I pulled out of the stack was this awesome green top. This color green is one of my favorites. And it was a soft flowy top that was super comfy. I liked the detailing on the sleeves and was just super excited about this one. Except for the price. I just didn't feel like it was worth the cost - almost $70. I knew it had to go back, especially as I looked closer at the seam and noticed that it had a bunch of loose strings. Nope, not today.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJx5AtdyiAzdzRZkzD3h63X4r7jDXUHahWpRR94DmrRpaOw0_hKTQYT07H3vRanSGWcgx7SI656y5WBVTIVeuzYvhGC90uaeUQKQouoYCj-Wf-4QzPgxFwAUAEih6Rkn2cpkHd4WdreJMh/s1600/photo+5.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJx5AtdyiAzdzRZkzD3h63X4r7jDXUHahWpRR94DmrRpaOw0_hKTQYT07H3vRanSGWcgx7SI656y5WBVTIVeuzYvhGC90uaeUQKQouoYCj-Wf-4QzPgxFwAUAEih6Rkn2cpkHd4WdreJMh/s1600/photo+5.JPG" height="400" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
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I ended up sending it back, although I was really sad to put it in the return bag. In another life, perhaps we will meet again. What I did keep from the outfit above...the awesome jeans that they sent me. Did I need a new pair of jeans? Nope! But when you get a pair of jeans that fit and don't give you a mom butt, you keep em! Love them!</div>
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I kind of wish that they sent me the cute striped tank in the picture too!</div>
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The next thing that I tried on was this cute white top that I so badly wanted to love. Also flowy and super comfy, it had cute detailing that really made me want to keep it. BUT, it was a size too big. Too long and too wide just doesn't work. However, right before I checked out and was going to send it back, I decided to contact their customer service. While they won't guarantee exchanges, they happened to have the top in a size smaller, and would send it my way. Awesome customer service. Woo! I love you white top!</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivJD_mFvmKgnvaYArj5RCbKi6caypxkq3FeR-qlHJbZax5q0E0gMIzoKVUn0kOJcG8Cg0vZT6z0GVrePQOJle7ynShpAFPMxsmkgicrL1Oa34LP-sL1PLJdXkpXHIyVPKKgZfrxtuN-YLn/s1600/photo+1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivJD_mFvmKgnvaYArj5RCbKi6caypxkq3FeR-qlHJbZax5q0E0gMIzoKVUn0kOJcG8Cg0vZT6z0GVrePQOJle7ynShpAFPMxsmkgicrL1Oa34LP-sL1PLJdXkpXHIyVPKKgZfrxtuN-YLn/s1600/photo+1.JPG" height="400" width="300" /></a></div>
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Here is the card with the styling:</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicWarsZ5glUYDzK38VPfI4btSsxYru_JZIL-gjsCrbq24euBA8PZrfno_2oAwRn-J97TpTJZi1wp1pu3TVkUdN6QrQUG7Zpe48SJGeAhVU-LjQcidUSjpxilfDCaBqp6ul8xUiagc44V_q/s1600/photo+3.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicWarsZ5glUYDzK38VPfI4btSsxYru_JZIL-gjsCrbq24euBA8PZrfno_2oAwRn-J97TpTJZi1wp1pu3TVkUdN6QrQUG7Zpe48SJGeAhVU-LjQcidUSjpxilfDCaBqp6ul8xUiagc44V_q/s1600/photo+3.JPG" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
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The next item that I tried on was a charcoal gray drape front cardigan. I don't have anything like this, so I was pretty excited about it. It also felt like a high quality piece that I could wear often. This picture doesn't really do it justice - it looks a little weird with the white top that is too big, but it is comfy and wonderful. It is a piece that would get a ton of use on our trip. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNcTN0l4zZr-PRKOhKR9Gzc7twlGi0u8NZqxvBGEmsGyEQZqeOdSHARspHh8SRqNYyuu2VkurszAhcIl_kA2WY1daCKJa9GpJIgM_gMcKmhOfKD-ss2QSOXITB3EDO3HgqXq8Z6v8XJ10H/s1600/photo+5.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNcTN0l4zZr-PRKOhKR9Gzc7twlGi0u8NZqxvBGEmsGyEQZqeOdSHARspHh8SRqNYyuu2VkurszAhcIl_kA2WY1daCKJa9GpJIgM_gMcKmhOfKD-ss2QSOXITB3EDO3HgqXq8Z6v8XJ10H/s1600/photo+5.JPG" height="327" width="400" /></a></div>
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This was another piece that I was debating whether or not to keep. While it is super high quality, the price was a little bit more than I wanted to spend on a cardigan. Or so I thought! Turns out, there was a typo on the price list that they enclosed in the package. When I went to check out and was planning to send it back, it was actually $16 cheaper. Score! So I kept it!<br />
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The last thing that I pulled out of the package was a dress that I wasn't so sure about. It was a pretty bold pattern, which isn't necessarily my style. I tried it on, and I was right. Not my style. And also not a good fit. I'll spare you the photo, as it was at least a size too small on the bottom. Cute on someone - just not me.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2KPBk90l4QUL_amnb-tnh-9-THYrh9jVO-GaMwmN64H2uJP4b9_49UoUKcjfywMnIZJPplFz49ZDLCpUmVggLNyLPIqspM81W7Q9PsLjqrR0sq5ST_qjFwQSs-PswdXnUr9MLnCL2SU-h/s1600/photo+1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2KPBk90l4QUL_amnb-tnh-9-THYrh9jVO-GaMwmN64H2uJP4b9_49UoUKcjfywMnIZJPplFz49ZDLCpUmVggLNyLPIqspM81W7Q9PsLjqrR0sq5ST_qjFwQSs-PswdXnUr9MLnCL2SU-h/s1600/photo+1.JPG" height="336" width="400" /></a></div>
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As a whole, this was a much more positive experience. I didn't anticipate keeping 3 out of 5 things. Allison, the Stitch Fix stylist, definitely did a good job of matching my style and my requests. All of the items were definitely stuff that could be worn throughout our trip and would roll up easily into a suitcase, leaving plenty of room for souvenirs!<br />
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While I can't afford to do Stitch Fix every month, I will definitely continue to use the service for different occasions. I think it could be for you too, if:<br />
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<li>You don't have a ton of time, or a ton of interest in shopping.</li>
<li>You are still figuring out what your personal style is, and could use some help finding direction.</li>
<li>You enjoy the element of surprise.</li>
<li>You are willing to give it a shot, knowing that you are going to likely send some stuff back.</li>
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Looking around the web, they have a huge array of options - folks aren't all getting the same thing. If you want a whole box of maxi dresses, or one entirely of accessories, they'll do it.</div>
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Want to check it out for yourself? Here is a <a href="http://www.stitchfix.com/referral/3158059" target="_blank">link</a> to their site. When you sign up, I get a $25 credit. Which is always a lovely gift for future Fixes. : )</div>
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Do you get Stitch Fix? Anything good lately? </div>
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Kirstinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12429378852637507315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7197276354469568706.post-21516929069729089162014-07-28T18:30:00.000-05:002014-07-28T18:30:00.908-05:00Travel for Two<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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As we have been planning for our belated honeymoon, it hit me. This is the first big trip that Chris and I are taking together. </div>
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We have traveled together before. That's not new. We drove to Iowa last summer for a reunion with my graduate school friends. We have headed out east together for the last several years to visit Chris' family. We have gone to the Rose Bowl and Florida with my family. And Chris joined me for a conference last year for some time in Orlando. </div>
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But this time is different. This is us, planning an entire trip on our own. Over two weeks of adventures across three countries. Planes, trains, ferries and buses. Exchanging currencies. Determining what we both need in terms of structure and flexibility in our journey. Deciding when to get the advanced tickets and when to wait and make a game-time decision about what we want to do. Spending lots and lots of time trying to weigh advice from all of the interwebs. I am really enjoying our time spent researching the trip together, but wow, it can be overwhelming!</div>
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I'm finding that vacation planning can tell you a lot about your relationship. It provides insight into what each person individually values and what they need to feel fulfilled in a trip (and to stay sane). There is a need to be explicit in your expectations, and to not assume that the other person feels the same. To compromise, and make sure.</div>
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For example, Must Sees. We both have different things that we really want to do. And we can't do all of them. As we were talking about what day trips that we want to squeeze into the London leg of our trip, we were weighing our priorities of the Warner Brothers Studios to see the Harry Potter sets, a day trip through the Chunnel to Paris, and a bus tour to Stonehenge/Windsor Castle/Oxford. <i>Sidenote: Channel + tunnel = Chunnel. Best thing ever! I'm a nerd.</i> For both of us, Harry Potter was a given, because Harry Potter. Tickets booked. It's happening. But it was looking like it would make sense to choose between either Paris or Stonehenge versus trying to squeeze in both. For me, I'd choose Paris because I don't know when I will get there in the future. Chris also wants to go to Paris, but he worries that he'd feel some sense of regret, getting all the way to the UK and not making Stonehenge happen. Time to discuss. Is there a way that we can both be happy? </div>
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Then there is the question of "How" we want to see different places. Are we bus trip people? Do we want a guided tour for things, or would we prefer to explore on our own? My aunt recommended that we do a biking tour of Paris, as a way to fit in a lot of sites in one day. Is that our style? Because this is our first kind of adventure, we are sort of guessing. We both agreed we weren't ready for a driving trip, so we are mixing in some self-guided destinations via public transportation, and selecting some guided day trips for the one's that seem a bit more complicated. If we go into this open minded, we can figure out what we'd prefer for next time.</div>
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Then there is the question of "What do I need on this trip to keep me from going crazy?" For me, I am pretty open to exploring lots of different things, as long as I am fed. Hangry is a thing. You can ask Chris - he's aware. He does not require specific meal times like I do. But he has learned that to avoid me getting crabby, food is important. Naps are also important.</div>
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To summarize: Naps. Food. Harry Potter. I'm excited.<br />
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How have you prioritized trip planning with a partner, friend, or family member? Any tips? </div>
Kirstinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12429378852637507315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7197276354469568706.post-40147306742045272772014-07-01T17:16:00.000-05:002014-07-02T08:45:58.574-05:00Our Ceremony<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOtgR6-Rxre-kRMpRY-0E4cpI1PcLg3ph59yofPHbpJIuxAou9PXm8U9JBArEdOoplviYh5aAv5YlJ-q5URB3Og47JmceR0BpAFgYj_EbzlJ5RuNIz0lJPM3huWquNh8L02FYICJTtMA-5/s1600/10487441_10152509596494725_7470348107168996304_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOtgR6-Rxre-kRMpRY-0E4cpI1PcLg3ph59yofPHbpJIuxAou9PXm8U9JBArEdOoplviYh5aAv5YlJ-q5URB3Og47JmceR0BpAFgYj_EbzlJ5RuNIz0lJPM3huWquNh8L02FYICJTtMA-5/s1600/10487441_10152509596494725_7470348107168996304_n.jpg" height="266" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">All of the tears. Captured by <a href="http://www.lisamathewson.com/" target="_blank">Lisa Mathewson Photography</a></td></tr>
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As much as I loved some of the other details of our wedding reception, it is the ceremony that continues to stick with me. It was the best part of the wedding. Because it is what made it a wedding, and not just a fun family party.<br />
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Throughout the evening, family and friends commented that the day was very "us." They could see Chris and I in all of the smaller parts. For me, this was most true for our ceremony.<br />
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As we grappled with what we wanted our ceremony to be, we decided on a few key things:<br />
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1. It would be heartfelt and thoughtful, while not being super traditional.<br />
2. We would walk in and out together, without a processional.<br />
3. We wanted something more than just the readings and vows. (As to the what, that took some additional pondering).<br />
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<b>Our Officiant</b><br />
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Our friend Beau graciously agreed to officiate our wedding. And I think it was really special that it was him, because he was there when we first met at a professional development event, and later reconnected at a conference. Beau has officiated a number of other weddings, including some of our other friends. Plus, I think he both looked the part, but also did an amazing job of leading us through the whole thing.<br />
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<b>Our Ring Warming Ceremony</b><br />
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This. I am so glad we did this.<br />
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If you haven't heard of a ring warming ceremony before, know that I had never seen one in person before we found it online. As we planned our ceremony, we didn't want to do a unity candle or a sand ceremony. Something about pouring sand in the same venue where our guests would be eating just sounded like an accident waiting to happen. I'm clumsy. As we explored other options, I read quite a bit about Celtic handfasting, before deciding that while we both have Irish roots, it wasn't something we felt confident about pulling off, and we didn't want to screw up something that holds a sacred place within a culture.<br />
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After reading a few things about a ring warming ceremony (<a href="http://offbeatbride.com/2009/08/ring-warming-wedding" target="_blank">here</a> and <a href="http://www.jerseyshoreweddingofficiant.com/blog/ring-warming-wording-example-for-a-wedding-ceremony" target="_blank">here</a>), it just felt like the right fit for us. It was a way to involve all of our family and friends in our ceremony, rather than feeling like they were just "spectators," which I really liked. And I truly believe that things carry energy in them, and having our loved ones inject our wedding bands with their love and positive energy seemed pretty awesome.<br />
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Many of the different sites that we read talked about the challenges of timing for this, so we put it at the beginning of the ceremony, in case the rings took awhile to get through all of our guests. We were a bit nervous about it, as specially as we talked it through with the wedding party in our Skype wedding rehearsal (side note: best idea ever) and worried that there might be awkward standing in silence. Also, sweaty, gross rings. But then we just decided to let it happen. Two of our friends, Aileen and Lucy, served as "ring bears," making sure that the ring was passed through all of our guests and returned safely to the front.<br />
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As we watched our rings pass through our family and friends hands, it just felt really intimate and special. And I had to hold back tears, as my grandmother was the last one to hold the rings and bring them back to the groomsmen.<br />
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<b>Our Readings</b><br />
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We looked at a couple of different readings, and ultimately decided on "i carry your heart with me (i carry it in/my heart)" by e.e. cummings, which was beautifully read by Katie, one of my best friends from college. I first heard the poem during the wedding scene in "In Her Shoes," and way back then thought it was the perfect wedding reading. <br />
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Our second reading was "He'll Make Me Happy" by Jeff Moss. Also known as Miss Piggy and Kermit's wedding song. We're Muppets people. Call us cheesy, if you will. But the lyrics are actually pretty special, and our friend Ann did an awesome job reading it without it sounding corny at all. She did refrain from doing Kermit and Piggy voices, which was probably a good choice.<br />
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<b>Our Vows</b><br />
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We had discussed writing our own vows. Not for us. We are much more likely to share our feelings and thoughts with each other privately, than to do so in front of folks, even if they are our loved ones. I don't think either of us would have gotten through them and actually been able to say the words - I had a hard enough time repeating back what Beau said first.<br />
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After much searching and finding things that we didn't want to say...("honor and obey" was out for sure), we found these online (slightly modified), and thought they fit us:<br />
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<i>(Chris), I choose you to be my partner</i><br />
<i>Loving what I know of you</i><br />
<i>And trusting what I do not yet know</i><br />
<i>I look forward to the opportunity to grow alongside you</i><br />
<i>Getting to know the person you will become</i><br />
<i>And falling in love with you a little more every day</i><br />
<i>I promise to love and cherish you</i><br />
<i>To laugh with you and grieve with you</i><br />
<i>To be truthful and honest with you</i><br />
<i>And to bravely face together whatever life may bring us</i><br />
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It felt a bit ironic that a few months before the wedding, we watched one of the last How I Met Your Mother episodes where Barney was struggling to write his vows. He points out that Marshall and Lily had already broken all of their vows. They make the decision to update them, and continue updating them later on. Because life changes. And there are no perfect vows.<br />
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While our vows may not be perfect for our entire lives together, I don't know if that is a reasonable goal to be striving for. I think, instead, as we made the commitment to entering into this formal partnership together, albeit a legally binding one, we both agreed to do the best that we can. To try. And to understand that there will be many points along our journey together where stuff will get real and we will deal with it. And more than one time where we will have to face an obstacle that we never saw coming. In that regard, they are the best vows that they could be, for us.<br />
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<b>What I Remember Most</b><br />
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<li>So initially my event-planning brain was on, and I couldn't get past the fact that we were standing really far off center from the ribbon backdrop. I was totally preoccupied. Did it really matter? No. Did it bug me? Absolutely. Once the ring ceremony started, I made everyone move. I own that this is sort of crazy, but that's just who I am.</li>
<li>Chris couldn't look at me because he was too worried he'd lose it. He spent most of the ceremony looking down at the ceremony script in Beau's hands. I watched him watching what Beau was reading. Such a handsome husband.</li>
<li>Vaguely knowing that other folks were there and that some were a bit teary, but having no idea that there were LOTS of tears. When I was told that a friend was genuinely sobbing, it was a total surprise.</li>
<li>Concentrating really hard on saying the right words.</li>
<li>Being SO happy and so excited when it was all official!</li>
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Seriously the best day.<br />
<br />Kirstinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12429378852637507315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7197276354469568706.post-25151760461801081282014-06-28T14:35:00.000-05:002014-11-17T13:44:43.780-06:00The Finer DetailsI wanted to share some of the wedding projects, and how they turned out. I debated sharing my "How Tos" as I did them, but there was no way that I could do that along the way, as it just felt like too much. A number of them developed into love-hate relationships. I said "Why did I think this was a good idea?" many times. But now, I'm actually pretty proud of the ones that we focused on.<br />
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So here we go...</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo by<a href="http://www.lisamathewson.com/" target="_blank"> Lisa Mathewson Photography</a></td></tr>
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Our invitations were one of my favorite early projects. We ordered them through <a href="https://www.etsy.com/shop/replybydesignstudio" target="_blank">replybydesignstudio</a>, and made arrangements through Chris' dad to print them at his company. They were simple and elegant. With the awesome help of my friend Claudia, we added the baker's twine and the gold glitter envelope liners, made from glitter wrapping paper from Paper Source. </div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXEBTRX3BmVUwIlC-38u7LUm97dRi00hExuS3oK7Eohyphenhyphen4us5NtAGx07itKHlQylJxB7IH7ALVusYvqVs08DoZ-Od0NEKJTpaQFdIMN4zjDya3fMqivqXWBz3I5GK_zMm7wEoJgWz0W7R0q/s1600/10416644_10152509599109725_6947765610032837137_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXEBTRX3BmVUwIlC-38u7LUm97dRi00hExuS3oK7Eohyphenhyphen4us5NtAGx07itKHlQylJxB7IH7ALVusYvqVs08DoZ-Od0NEKJTpaQFdIMN4zjDya3fMqivqXWBz3I5GK_zMm7wEoJgWz0W7R0q/s1600/10416644_10152509599109725_6947765610032837137_n.jpg" height="300" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo by<a href="http://www.lisamathewson.com/" target="_blank"> Lisa Mathewson Photography</a></td></tr>
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Our table ceterpieces were fairly simple. My amazing aunt made black and white "summer stripe" table squares and runners, which were featured throughout our event. Seamstress extraordinaire! We then used gold chargers as a base for the flowers, which were in an assortment of mason jars wrapped in baker's twine as well. I was all about the baker's twine, and using it wherever it made sense. I will tell you about how I ended up with $40 worth of the stuff some other time...</div>
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We did simple table numbers in black Ikea frames, which had different quotes on them. </div>
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And one of my favorite, but more tedious details, were the votives. I added loose gold glitter with a bit of glue tape to the rims of the votive holders. Messy. Lesson learned: should have sealed the stuff. Just one of the many reasons that I continue to find glitter in the cats fur. </div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAbuGVZRNjWgfrDfdj7qCwj9RPbqxFU_1SL7Ydl_5qKQtAXviCmfcyeIhG1GcBANxHzfOBG9J3NAZUkWcjSCdV3jTZFBwL9U7WoVCkxE8ggWQ2aFCQ_OMETUmwpww1_9z_bzz_7HiUREWQ/s1600/10482584_10152509597434725_5953911384427831784_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAbuGVZRNjWgfrDfdj7qCwj9RPbqxFU_1SL7Ydl_5qKQtAXviCmfcyeIhG1GcBANxHzfOBG9J3NAZUkWcjSCdV3jTZFBwL9U7WoVCkxE8ggWQ2aFCQ_OMETUmwpww1_9z_bzz_7HiUREWQ/s1600/10482584_10152509597434725_5953911384427831784_n.jpg" height="266" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo by<a href="http://www.lisamathewson.com/" target="_blank"> Lisa Mathewson Photography</a></td></tr>
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One of our main goals for the wedding was to feature Milwaukee. Many of our friends and family were coming from out of town, and we wanted them to fall in love with the city that we call home. Because, of course, we want them to come back! That was why we chose <a href="http://www.milwaukeepublicmarket.com/" target="_blank">Milwaukee Public Market </a>as the perfect downtown wedding venue. The venue has such an amazing vibe, just by itself, and the staff did an amazing job of transforming the second floor area into a beautiful wedding space. Through the culinary magic of their different vendors, we were also able to feature foods that said Wisconsin, like brat bites, cheese, and mini cream puffs. Plus they showcased an awesome assortment of Wisconsin beers. It was seriously the best venue ever, and the only one that we looked at. <i>Serious plug: If you are looking to get married in Milwaukee and want a fun venue, you must chat with Ellen and the other staff at the Milwaukee Public Market. </i></div>
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We also thought it would be a fun twist to utilize the Milwaukee handkerchief from <a href="http://hanmademilwaukee.com/buy-it/" target="_blank">HANMade Milwaukee</a>, as our "guest book." One of my favorite moments on the day after the wedding was looking at all of the places that folks had signed. While many put their names around the border, others picked out locations on the map that may have been special to them. I can't wait to frame it and hang it up in our house! </div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo by<a href="http://www.lisamathewson.com/" target="_blank"> Lisa Mathewson Photography</a></td></tr>
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We also wanted folks to have the opportunity to leave us a longer message, or advice as we start our first year of marriage. I found a cute little blue ceramic market basket at Anthropologie, that looked just like one you might put strawberries in. I thought it was an awesome fit for the location, and can't wait to figure out how to use it at home.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo by<a href="http://www.lisamathewson.com/" target="_blank"> Lisa Mathewson Photography</a></td></tr>
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Glitter was ever present throughout our wedding. In fact, long before we got married, I nicknamed our wedding, "Project Glitter Bomb." One of the sparkling touches was on the banners that we featured throughout the venue. Using a modified version of this tutorial from A Practical Wedding, I utilized a party banner kit from Party City to make banners that said "Mr" and "Mrs," "Always," and "Treat Yo Self," for the dessert table of course. I traced each of the letters with more of the glitter wrapping paper, and then adhered them to the different colored letters. They were on of my favorite things to see come to life in the beautiful space.</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo by<a href="http://www.lisamathewson.com/" target="_blank"> Lisa Mathewson Photography</a></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgx41LGdlN79jRspn6Esq6mupGQ9T6Oq5yA7taqGYL0lzySneSF0mTZ2wCId4_fEIDSM9x3-jNHi3cZajXR_iK3t_V_vOGTV5_o189SXNK6LQp5akkaUIzl3ArYZG7wUwWHXaNkEGjCQcLI/s1600/Kirstin+%2526+Chris+DeMartino_0459.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgx41LGdlN79jRspn6Esq6mupGQ9T6Oq5yA7taqGYL0lzySneSF0mTZ2wCId4_fEIDSM9x3-jNHi3cZajXR_iK3t_V_vOGTV5_o189SXNK6LQp5akkaUIzl3ArYZG7wUwWHXaNkEGjCQcLI/s1600/Kirstin+%2526+Chris+DeMartino_0459.jpg" height="400" width="266" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo by<a href="http://www.lisamathewson.com/" target="_blank"> Lisa Mathewson Photography</a></td></tr>
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Ahh, the ribbon backdrop. No project became a bigger pain in the butt over the course of making it. And in hindsight, I would have loved to add some additional width to the thing. But it did look pretty nice for our ceremony.</div>
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A few other little things made the day special:</div>
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<ul>
<li>Bathroom baskets with all of the essentials for our guests. You know, tide pens, mints, bobby pins, etc.</li>
<li>Black and white striped "L-O-V-E" letters. Not my best painting, but they turned out okay and made good photo props.</li>
<li>Our fun and simple <a href="https://www.etsy.com/listing/126843719/gold-heart-cake-topper-glitter-mini?ref=shop_home_active_23" target="_blank">cake topper</a>, that graced the little 9 inch cake that we purchased from Whole Foods. I think this was actually one of the first things that we bought. </li>
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I am happy to provide tutorials on any of the crafty things if you are looking to do something similar. Just let me know which ones. <br />
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So there you go! : )<br />
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<br />Kirstinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12429378852637507315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7197276354469568706.post-2102620411002807002014-06-27T16:30:00.000-05:002014-06-27T16:30:00.938-05:00Summer Goals<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Summer is coveted time when you work in higher education.<br />
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Before you ask, no, I do not have summers off. But, throughout the end of the spring semester, I crave summer. It is a different pace. It is time to focus on planning ahead for the upcoming academic year, versus feeling like everything is getting done "just in time" or that I am constantly trying to catch up. It also feels like there is actually time to get out and enjoy summer, as I have less evening and weekend commitments. So we try to cram in as much fun as we can, and most of it in June and July. Once August 1 hits, something just shifts, and it feels like summer is over. That last month feels frantic as I try to get everything done before the students come back.<br />
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Last summer flew by at warp speed. We did a lot of fun things, but there were so many other things I would have loved to make happen that I just didn't get to. I think it was all of those baseball games and races. Because we aren't really traveling at all this summer and don't have too many major set things on the calendar, I have tried to set some summer goals, to make sure that I am making the most of it. Here they are for 2014:<br />
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<b>Go regularly to the farmer's market. </b>It is my favorite part of summer. And the best way that I can ensure that I am eating healthy and cutting costs on my grocery budget during the summer. So far I have gotten some delicious stuff: bread, honey, cheese curds, asparagus, strawberries, snap peas, lettuce, kale, spinach, and mushrooms. I can't wait to see what else the vendors will have as the summer goes on.<br />
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<b>Actually cook. </b>During the school year, it is easy to get out of the habit of meal planning and cooking and just choose to go out to eat instead. We really got out of the habit of cooking during the weeks before and after our wedding, and I honestly kind of miss it. Although I would love to spend every evening dining outdoors on a restaurant patio, I want to take advantage of the extra time that I have to try some new recipes and plan out our meals. Good old habit building. Grilling outside and utilizing our crock pot are actually better options for us during the summer, as we don't have air conditioning and will do anything we can to avoid making the house hotter.<br />
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<b>Run. </b>It's been a really long time. And I actually haven't scheduled out any races for this summer - mainly to save money, but also because I've been lazy. I need to get my new pair of running shoes, and get back out on the road. I miss the personal time that it provides.<br />
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<b>Read. </b>Summer is when I do the most leisure reading. And I have a long list of books waiting to be picked up. I love turning off the tv and reading instead. I just finished reading <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00BPDR3F6/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B00BPDR3F6&linkCode=as2&tag=fabulobroketw-20&linkId=YOL7SRHLLKMMBMNI">The Signature of All Things by Elizabeth Gilbert</a><img alt="" border="0" src="http://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=fabulobroketw-20&l=as2&o=1&a=B00BPDR3F6" height="1" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" />
and can't put down <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00IJJUIOM/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B00IJJUIOM&linkCode=as2&tag=fabulobroketw-20&linkId=3QAIXHVI2XASER5B">The Silkworm by Robert Galbraith (JK Rowling)</a>. I made a goal to read <a href="http://fabulouslybroketwentysomething.blogspot.com/p/books-ive-read.html" target="_blank">52 books this year (one a week)</a>. I've only finished 11 and it's been 26 weeks. It's time to catch up!<br />
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<b>Plan our honeymoon.</b> I am so glad that we made the decision not to honeymoon right after the wedding. We would have been exhausted, and I probably would have been miserable, thanks to that good old summer cold that showed up during the week after our wedding. I think that having the time set aside to plan now also has been a good transition post-wedding. It gives us something to look forward to, and I'm not experiencing those post-wedding blues that some folks have.<br />
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<b>Organize.</b> Since we had folks around during the week before and after the wedding, we did our best to clean the house a bit. This sometimes (often) meant shoving things out of sight, which has left some of our closets and storage spaces in sore shape. Yikes. I would love to go through and organize them while we have the time to do it, so that no one gets an injury from opening a closet door. Not necessarily the most fun summer task, but one that will clear a bit of physical and mental clutter. I know the crap is in there, and it's staring me down. It has to go!<br />
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<b>Checking out free/cheap stuff. </b>In our effort to save for our honeymoon, we have been looking for all of the different fun, free things to do around Milwaukee this summer. There are a number of outdoor concerts, movies, and other cool stuff that we just haven't checked out yet. It is easy to stop paying attention to our fun budget during the summer because we want to do all of the festivals and stuff. My hope is that if we make a game out of finding the free stuff, it will continue to be fun. So far, we have been to a free Symphony concert in the park, the Jelly Belly Factory tour, the Criterion Classic cycling race that went through our neighborhood, and Summerfest, of course. I'm hoping to make it to Shakespeare in the Park this weekend, as it ends on Sunday.<br />
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It's so hard to believe that July is next month. It is just starting to feel like summer, and we only have 9 weekends left before the students move in!<br />
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Do you set summer goals? What are they?Kirstinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12429378852637507315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7197276354469568706.post-35515547279512906452014-06-26T19:15:00.000-05:002014-11-17T13:44:20.950-06:00Married<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgW67_zyDVUwlqwuZkKpb49Z2dJUIWEtglnhwUL9Z-3zyiR9prQX_ny0iRqov_hfc14m5AQ9RwzS4bAn0ruGo4Wv20F8jnyGUwBON9dZoFcGUu7r3BmegrvkKmJR8WD7L3eiEuA5WGlrXAC/s1600/10422038_10152509596594725_4812523623431523323_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgW67_zyDVUwlqwuZkKpb49Z2dJUIWEtglnhwUL9Z-3zyiR9prQX_ny0iRqov_hfc14m5AQ9RwzS4bAn0ruGo4Wv20F8jnyGUwBON9dZoFcGUu7r3BmegrvkKmJR8WD7L3eiEuA5WGlrXAC/s1600/10422038_10152509596594725_4812523623431523323_n.jpg" height="266" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">First dance, captured by Lisa Mathewson Photography</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">It is hard to believe it, but Chris and I have already been married for one month. A special, tiny anniversary that we celebrated yesterday by seeing Ray Lamontagne at Summerfest.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I had been intending to write a blog post about our wedding weekend a bit sooner, but was simultaneously hit by an intense summer cold while trying to relax and take a break from doing All. The. Things. My first week back at work was a total blur. I've been in catch up mode ever since. And trying to do all of the fun summer things, so it doesn't feel like this one got away. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">But I didn't want to get too far away from the wedding, because there were so many amazing memories from that weekend that I worry will get lost. The fact that it was beautiful, relaxed, fun, and perfectly us.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I started to write a post, that then felt like a novel. Too much. Too too much. You would have stopped reading, three paragraphs in. So instead we will break this up. Make it a bit more digestable. Consider it Kirstin and Chris' wedding, in small plates. Starting with the favorites.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Some of my favorite things about our wedding:</span><br />
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<ul>
<li><span style="line-height: 21px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">The most beautiful weather. I think JerBear called that one in for us. </span></span></li>
<li><span style="line-height: 21px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">We hosted our cocktail hour before the ceremony. Call us untraditional, but I think it was the best decision ever. I was so much calmer going into the ceremony, and okay with all eyes being on us, because we had already greeted folks. I got past the stage fright, for the most part. We didn't want folks to think that we weren't taking the ceremony seriously (I wrote the thing over and over many times, trust me), but we wanted the vibe to feel a bit less stuffy and more us. It worked. </span></span></li>
<li><span style="line-height: 21px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Our ring warming ceremony was absolutely beautiful. We weren't really sure exactly how the timing was going to work out, or if it would just drag on. But it turned out lovely, when we just let it happen. Plus we had to awesome "ring bears" (HIMYM shout out!) </span></span></li>
<li><span style="line-height: 21px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I really loved all of our ceremony, as we actually heard and said it. As I had pulled the pieces of it together in the months before the wedding, I spent a lot of time thinking about what words and what vows would "fit" us. And then, in the early morning hours of that day, I was tossing and turning, and realized that I had taken out a critical part of the thing that I needed to add back in. The one legal part that you have to say. Nothing like last minute editing. In the moments of the ceremony, I felt each of those words though. And they were just right. </span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit;">The food was awesome. We didn't really get to eat any of it that night (in fact, the first thing I really ate that night was a piece of pizza a friend gave me at a bar afterwards), but everyone seemed to enjoy that we skipped the traditional plated chicken or steak, and instead went with a taco bar, pulled pork sliders, assorted apps and a mini-dessert bar. Food was one thing we cared a lot about and we wanted stuff folks would enjoy eating. Not the typical banquet meal.</span></li>
<li><span style="line-height: 21px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">In lieu of favors, we made donations to the Humane Society and American Cancer Society. We invited friends and family to join us in the donation (instead of clinking glasses, we'd kiss for that), and we doubled what we were able to donate. It felt so meaningful when we made the donations. Seriously the best moment. </span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit;">We also donated all of our flowers after the wedding to Petals for Patients, an organization that shares them with hospice patients. We loved our flowers, which were beautiful and exactly what we wanted, but we also knew that we didn't need to take them home. Not only was it helpful to us in our planning, but also a meaningful way to pay it forward.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit;">We listened to t<span style="line-height: 21px;">he most amazing, heartfelt speeches/toasts from our friends and family. It was truly a room filled with love. There were many, many tears. I cried a lot.</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit;">Our first dance to "Oh" by Dave Matthews. Specifically the Live from Las Vegas, Dave and Tim version, for those of you who know our love of Dave Matthews. While it felt totally weird to have folks watching us dance, and I think we were both glad that we picked a shorter song, it was the perfectly sweet moment. </span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">We were pretty selective about where we put the most time, money, and energy. Some things were important to us, others were not. I am glad that we were thoughtful about our ceremony and reception, with a focus on our guests. I loved the entire feel of the event because you could see all of us throughout. I loved our decorations and some of the smaller touches about our day. I am also really glad that I didn't spend time doing favors, escort cards, or programs. We just didn't need them.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I am also really glad that we kept our wedding small and intimate. We aimed for 75-100, and ended up with just under 80 guests. Any couple planning a wedding will tell you that the guest list is the hardest part. And it was. There were so many people I wanted to be there, but we knew that a 300-person wedding would have scared the crap out of us. Neither of us are fans of being the center of attention. We also knew that there were friends and family we would really want to be there, that wouldn't be able to make the trip. And they were definitely missed, but there in spirit. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Since the wedding, folks regularly ask, "How does it feel to be married?" My typical answer is "Mostly the same. But isn't that kind of how it should be?" In many ways, our day-to-day lives haven't changed. The adjustments, at least within the first month, have been:</span><br />
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<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit;">Lots of name change paperwork. Holy wow. Also, hoping my new driver's license arrive, because it feels silly using a paper one...</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit;">Getting used to saying my new last name or saying "my husband" without giggling. Sometimes caused by others giggling or freaking out when they hear me say either.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit;">Getting used to signing my new last name. Looks like third grade cursive classes all over again.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit;">Focusing in on making some of those bigger plans together. The grown up things. Like financial decisions. Those things that make me feel old.</span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">We are now past the wedding stuff, and on to the marriage stuff. And that's the part I was most excited for. As beautiful of a day as it was, it was just a day. And now is the part where we try our best to live our vows every day, and to figure this thing out was we go. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Not long after our wedding, I was looking at a web site that posted the following from Anne Morrow Lindburgh's "Gift from the Sea"<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 21px;">. I sent it to myself and put in the subject "Remember this," because it strikes me that this is what being married is really all about:</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">“When you love someone, you do not love them all the time, in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. It is an impossibility. It is even a lie to pretend to. And yet this is exactly what most of us demand. We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships. We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb. We are afraid it will never return. We insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity; when the only continuity possible, in life as in love, is in growth, in fluidity - in freedom, in the sense that the dancers are free, barely touching as they pass, but partners in the same pattern.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">The only real security is not in owning or possessing, not in demanding or expecting, not in hoping, even. Security in a relationship lies neither in looking back to what was in nostalgia, nor forward to what it might be in dread or anticipation, but living in the present relationship and accepting it as it is now. Relationships must be like islands, one must accept them for what they are here and now, within their limits - islands, surrounded and interrupted by the sea, and continually visited and abandoned by the tides.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Yeah.</span></div>
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Kirstinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12429378852637507315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7197276354469568706.post-91294305442511912512014-04-29T18:00:00.000-05:002014-11-17T13:49:27.351-06:00April: Finding Calm (Part One)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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A few things have happened in April that have really stuck with me. In the midst of the To Do lists and the wedding planning, it has also been a month of major personal reflection. As the month wraps up, I thought it was worth putting some of my reflections out into the world.<br />
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First, I had the opportunity to live stream a talk from Brene Brown that was given at a professional conference that many of my colleagues had the opportunity to attend. I have been a huge Brene Brown fan for some time.<br />
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I saw her <a href="https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability" target="_blank">TED Talks</a> at some point in the last year or so, and I devoured one of her books, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Daring-Greatly-Courage-Vulnerable-Transforms/dp/1592407331" target="_blank">Daring Greatly</a>, this past December. I read it so fast, I think I highlighted (or e-highlighted, rather) almost every sentence. It was one of those reads where you find yourself saying out loud, "Yes. Yes. THIS. Yes." Awkward, as I read a good chunk of it in the airport. I'm reading one of her other books, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-Gifts-Imperfection-Supposed-Embrace/dp/159285849X/ref=pd_sim_b_1?ie=UTF8&refRID=0FPWFYQ6CX0TYTHJFF5R" target="_blank">The Gifts of Imperfection</a>, now, and trying to take this one a bit slower. One chapter at a time.<br />
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During her talk to my colleagues, it was much the same. I wanted to write down every single word that she said. I doubt I was alone. I think many of us who work with students are sort of obsessed with her. You could hear the cheers in the crowd as she spoke about being excited to speak at the conference because we are "her people." It's totally true. We love her. We get her. She gets us.<br />
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Early in her speech she was talking about having a future college student and how she felt a bit better about her child attending because of our roles. As she pointed out "most people only know what you do in crisis." It's true. I love that she knows what we do beyond that, and values it. And that affirmation felt very important.<br />
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So many things she said about vulnerability, and compassion, and loving yourself, and joy have stuck with me:<br />
<ul>
<li>"'I don't give a shit' is the safest way to go."</li>
<li>"If courage is your value, you're going to get your butt kicked."</li>
<li>"We are brave and afraid in the same moment every day."</li>
<li>"The minute you stop caring what people think, you lose the opportunity to connect."</li>
<li>"Joy is our best barometer for measuring our vulnerability."</li>
<li>"We share stories with those who have earned the right to hear them."</li>
</ul>
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She said some really thought provoking things about our work with students too. And how to help students understand the difference between belonging versus fitting in. To encourage them to be authentic, and understand that they should be seeking moments, memories, and shared experiences. That felt like the perfect tagline for Student Involvement, and what we are all about. Most memorably, she said we need to help students understand this: "What's worth doing even if I fail?"</div>
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I am still processing and reflecting on what I have read and what I heard from Brene. Attempting to soak it in, and to practice some self-forgiveness and self-love. To experience joy without rehearsing tragedy (I totally do that). And to let go of some of the things I use to measure my self worth and focus on being enough.</div>
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If you haven't checked out her work, I definitely recommend it. </div>
Kirstinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12429378852637507315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7197276354469568706.post-84155865773711528092014-04-14T22:21:00.000-05:002014-04-14T22:41:18.383-05:0040 Days<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Holy Wow, y'all. We are just 40 days out from We Do!<br />
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I am learning that there is always something to be done. Well, really three main things:<br />
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1. Spending money.<br />
2. Making decisions.<br />
3. Making stuff.<br />
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Confession: I know I said I wasn't into all that wedding stuff. Turns out, I like some of it. Well, really just the last one. The crafting part is totally my thing. The first two not so much. I'm terrible at making decisions. And spending money makes my stomach churn. Although it is fun to get packages on a daily basis. Fairly certain our mail carriers are having "fun" finding ways to hide the packages. <br />
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But I am proving to be a champ at:<br />
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<ul>
<li>Covering things in glitter - envelopes, signs, candle holders (the carpet...accidentally the cats, woops).</li>
<li>Wrapping things in baker's twine.</li>
<li>Assembling marquee signs with paper mache, spray paint and globe lights.</li>
<li>Assessing risk and determining that homemade marquee lights, although a great Pinterest project, might be a fire hazard.</li>
<li>Purchasing every travel-sized toiletry possible at Target, in the event one of our guests might have need for a bobby pin, a mint, etc. </li>
</ul>
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Stuff is getting checked off of the list. My dress has been altered and is hanging safely at my mom's house. The groomsmen have some snazzy matching outfits. A wedding production plan is in progress - because when you work in Student Affairs, that is what you do. </div>
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Marry, we will. Marquee sign or no marquee sign.</div>
Kirstinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12429378852637507315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7197276354469568706.post-52885230394599769552014-03-13T22:57:00.002-05:002014-03-13T23:03:21.869-05:0072 Days<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Handsome.</td></tr>
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Oh hey. So I guess it's 2014, huh? And March. Yep, that happened.<br />
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I don't know where January and February went, but they sure flew by. I think all of my energy went to two things: feverishly watching the Olympics and trying to get over my second cold of 2014. I think it is a sign that I need to be in a warm weather climate. Because having one cold a month is simply unacceptable.<br />
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Oh, and wedding planning. That's happening.<br />
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Because, you see, we have less than 75 days to go. 72, in fact. Most common conversation right now is...<br />
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Someone: "I mean, you pretty much have all the big stuff done, right?"<br />
Me: "Yeah, that doesn't really count any more."<br />
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Because while there are a number of things that we can't do yet, the planning has definitely picked up. And there are a number of little projects that we need to be doing now so that we don't get too far behind.<br />
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Some of our recent accomplishments include:<br />
<ul>
<li>Picking out menswear. Not what I might call exciting, but I survived. And there will be some dapper dudes on May 25th. </li>
<li>Ordering Chris' wedding band. I love what he picked out. Mine's next.</li>
<li>My first dress fitting! I'm thankful my dress doesn't need a ton of alterations. Just a little bit of hemming and a tighter strap. </li>
<li>Completing our wedding registries. We decided that we don't need a lot of things, and focused on doing a honeymoon registry through Honeyfund. We do have smaller registries with Crate and Barrel and Kohl's too. But we are SO excited for our trip to London, Ireland and Wales, and appreciate our families and friends who want to share in the experience with us. </li>
<li>Making a million appointments. It has been easier to schedule everything out. Each haircut between now and the wedding. A couple of massages to keep my stress down. Flowers. Food. All the things get their own appointment.</li>
<li>Spending monies. Let's be honest. That's a big piece of this whole part of the process. Swiping cards and writing checks. </li>
<li>Planning our rehearsal dinner.</li>
<li>Assembling our invitations. This turned out to be one of my favorite projects because it was fun craft time with my friend Claudia. </li>
<li>Buying stamps. Multiple times. Because I lost them. </li>
<li>Setting up premarital counseling. For me, the marriage planning is just as much, if not more important than the wedding planning. More. Definitely more. </li>
<li>Writing our ceremony and picking out readings.</li>
</ul>
As much as we have done, the To Do List just seems to get longer. And we keep chugging along. And we'll be married at the end, which is the important part. Right?! : )<br />
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Just 72 days...<br />
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<br />Kirstinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12429378852637507315noreply@blogger.com0