Why Social Media and I are on a Break

I couldn't write that title and not think of the all-time best tv show ever, Friends. So good.

Twitter and Facebook are out right now. I've turned them off. Well, technically I have only turned off Facebook. Twitter is still out though.

Why?

I just need a little bit of time with less social media, and more just being social. Interacting with people in ways other than "liking" their photos and posts. Feeling okay about putting down my computer or phone without worrying about missing out on something. Because the reality is that I am always going to miss out on things. And that's okay.

Facebook and Twitter are easy. They are there. All. The. Time. Always available for a fast distraction that ends up being a total black hole. Because I was also assisting with some of our social media management for work, it also means that I'm not only using them at home, but at work too. Too much.

I am sure the picture of your baby is cute. You know if I was on there, I'd like any picture of your cat. But is that the point? I feel like too much of my life can get wrapped up in my online presence, and I am not putting enough time in other areas. (I understand the contradiction as I post this on my personal blog...online...)    

So I decided my mind needed a little bit of time for a reset. I'm taking a break between now and the end of November. I'll be back, I'm sure. But for now, you won't find me there, personally or for work. Someone else is taking the lead on that.

I'm excited for the opportunity to communicate with folks in other ways. More texts. More calls. More hanging out. Heck, maybe even some snail mail. Perhaps my change will stimulate some much needed business for our post office system. Okay, probably not.

The blog isn't getting turned off. I may post less. But I haven't been posting that frequently lately anyway. And who knows if folks will find it if I'm not posting via social media.

Okay, back to real life.

One Year Later.

A year ago at this time I wasn't running. At all. I had run all summer, and then quit mid-August. I missed the beautiful, cool fall days that were perfect for a run. I also set aside my goal of finishing a half-marathon (or at that time, a full marathon), at least for a bit.

But yesterday was the day. I was able to check that one off of the bucket list. 13.1 miles, conquered.

I had my doubts. Going into yesterday's race, I had not run since the previous Sunday, when I had a horrible run. It was so bad that I had to call Chris to pick me up around mile 7, four miles shorter than what I was hoping to do. I spent the week limping. Tight calves and shin splints. I declared it a week of rest, and spent my nights stretching, icing, and taking a painkiller or two. I got a massage on Tuesday, which helped some, but didn't take away all of the pain. It certainly didn't give me confidence that I'd finish the race. That was my only goal - just to finish.

How I spent the night before the race.

When the alarm went off at 5:00 am, I was already awake. I was in and out of sleep all night, and thanks to a playful but incredibly annoying cat, I woke up at 3:00 am, and couldn't fall back asleep. I put on my gear, ate a little breakfast, and packed up my stuff, and walked out the front door at 5:15. I wanted to get in some slow jogging up and down the block, just to get a sense of whether my legs were on board for the road ahead.

Chris was a trooper and drove me to Miller Park at 5:40 am. A time that neither of us regularly see. We parked, I stretched, went to the bathroom three separate times, and then lined up. My bib said "Corral K," which wasn't even a true corral. Just the back. Like "Hey slow people, find somewhere to stand behind Corral J. And don't get in the way of the people in front of you." Sounds good.

And then it started. And I ran. I ran down Canal Street and past the casino, where it was super smelly, btw. And then over to the Iron Horse Hotel, and back for a loop around the Harley Davidson Museum. And then around the rest of the city, past Miller Brewery, and through some neighborhoods, and then back to Miller Park.

It was a pretty scenic run - although I only half paid attention. I was mainly focused on keeping going. One mile at a time, most faster than my average training run. As I would cross a mile marker, I'd recite my mantra. "Alright Mile 9. All in on Mile 9." No idea where that came from, but it helped. Other times I counted backwards from 100. Over and over. Boring, but it kept me from stopping and giving up. And it also helped me to ignore the various pains in my legs and feet, and an icky stomach feeling that came and went throughout the race. I knew that I'd be looking at some huge blisters when my shoes came off.

Beauts, aren't they?
Popping blisters has become my sad post-race ritual.

At mile 11, I walked. I powered through all of the other hills and up the start of the on ramp, but I eventually met a hill that I couldn't take.  So I let myself walk to the top of the hill, and then picked it back up. It helped that there were folks with signs, cheering along the way. "Pain now, beer later." Best one by far. Am I right?!

Mile 13 brought me into the stadium. It was totally surreal to run through and see all of the families and friends that were in the stands cheering. And then to look up and see that we were on the huge screen, woah. I wanted to speed up through the stadium and finish strong, but I also had the urge to slow down and take it in.

As I ran the final portion of the race and through the finish line, it hit me. Not the pain, but the overwhelming feeling that comes with accomplishing a major goal. One for me that was really hard, and not without set backs. And somehow, I managed to sort of rock it. And blew my own expectations for what I could do.

I just wanted to finish, and yet, I did way better than I thought I ever could!

I know for some people, 13.1 is nothing. And I am in total awe of everyone I know who has completed a full marathon. Because as soon as I finished, the first thing that came to mind was "Oh hell no. No way that I could do what I just did, but twice." In fact, as I found my sister and Chris at the end, and started to cry, all I could say was "I can't believe I finished! I don't want to do a full one."

Finisher!

I promise that giant wet spot is from dumping water over myself.
Not all sweat. I think...

Maybe that goal will come back around later in life. Maybe. But for now, I am pretty proud of checking this off of my list. And I think I'll focus on recovering for a little bit. Because right now I'm walking like  an 80 year old. And just want to sleep on my couch.

Give me a week or two.

Didn't get it done before 30, but getting it done within 30 was pretty great too.

Sleepy Time

They have no problems sleeping all day and night. Totally jealous.

I am not a morning person. Not at all.

My mornings usually involve hitting the snooze button several times, followed by flying around my apartment trying to get ready in time, always running late. Lately, I've been so stressed, that I also haven't been getting much sleep during the night, leaving me groggy and less productive during the day, especially mid-afternoon. You might call me Oscar the Grouch. It would be fair.

So, when the first chapter of The Happiness Project focused on having more energy, I was totally tuned in. Gretchen focused on sleep and energy, and I figured that would be a good starting point for me too. Some of her strategies included:

1. Set a specific bedtime.
2. Get ready for bed well before your bedtime.
3. Make your room very dark.
4. Stretch.
5. Keep your bedroom a little chilly.
6. Make a list of everything you need to do the next day.
7. Tidy up your bedroom.
8. Exercise.
9. An hour before bedtime, avoid work that requires alert thinking.
10. Slather on body lotion.
11. Put on socks if your feet are cold.
12. Yawn.
13. Tell yourself, "I have to get up now."
14. Give up, and reframe your sleeplessness.

One of the first things that I decided to do to help promote better sleeping was to clear out the clutter in our room. The side of the bed next to my nightstand had become my dumping ground for stacks of important papers and bills, as well as all of my dissertation books and articles. Throw in a bunch of piles of clothes (some clean, some dirty, some waiting to be donated), and the place was basically a disaster zone. Nothing like clutter to block good sleep. It's like those dissertation books were staring me down in the middle of the night, making me feel guilty for not getting more done. Boo.

So I spent a whole Sunday cleaning our room, organizing all of the papers, and putting them in a new filing cabinet that I purchased. I also got a shoe rack, and organized my closet so that I can actually shut the door. The donation piles and the books moved out. I still need to find a new home for them, but I will do that when I have more energy. They are not welcome back in our room.

Bedtime is now 10 pm, no exceptions. The light has to go off at that time, and the room has to be as dark as possible. No blinking laptop lights. I have also been trying to put on my pjs by 8 pm. I honestly think it helps me get more tired. Call me an old lady if you will - I am turning 30 this week. It's fair.

Finally, one of my biggest challenges in getting to sleep is the stress of all of the things coming the next day. I keep a notepad by my desk for things that come up as I am trying to get to sleep, I pick out my outfit the night before, and I try to pack a lunch too. All those good night time things. But, I have also started spending the last half hour of my work day prepping for the next one. I have been clipping all of my To Dos, and any related paperwork to a clip board. It's waiting for me when I get in the next morning, which means I feel a little less chaotic during the evenings. Because, really, nothing I do is typically so urgent that it can't wait until the morning. 

After a week at a conference, my sleep schedule is still pretty off and I returned with a conference cold. Standard. But I am determined to condition my body to get more sleep. Chris doesn't have any problems sleeping. Not like I do. So he may be less excited about these changes. But he sure is being supportive. I think he would probably enjoy a less crabbier me.

Do you get sleep? How would your days be different if you had more sleep?

Beyond 30: Book #34 The Happiness Project

I had received several recommendations to pick up a copy of The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin, and finally did so when I had a new audio book credit to use. I'm so glad that I got it, I couldn't stop listening! And it gave me tons of ideas for 2013: Thrive.

Rubin started a year-long project to live a more happy life. As she describes it, she wasn't depressed, or even unhappy. She just wanted to actively seek ways to be happier. Creating a chart of resolutions, she focused on a different area of happiness each month:

January: Vitality
February: Marriage
March: Work
April: Parenthood
May: Leisure
June: Friendship
July: Money
August: Eternity
September: Books
October: Mindfulness
November: Attitude
December: Happiness

Some of her areas to work on totally hit home. The first chapter, which focused on energy, had so many tips that I wanted to implement immediately. She had some great thoughts to share on relationships, both with her husband, her children and her friends. While her chapter on fun didn't really sound that fun to me, one of the key points of the book was that each person's happiness project has to be their own. The first of her personal twelve commandments for the book was "Be Gretchen."

The book has me thinking about what those things are that make me happy, as well as areas of my life in which I could be happier. What would my personal commandments be? What resolutions would I make? Rubin has a web site where folks can get tips, handouts, and other resources to start their own happiness project. Check it out here. I'll be sharing more about my own resolutions down the road. Who doesn't want to be happier?

The book has actually been out awhile, and Rubin has already written a follow up, Happier at Home. Guess what I'll be reading next...

Thriving in 2013: Money Matters

Have you heard of The Happiness Project: Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun by Gretchen Rubin? I am reading it right now and it is pretty great. She took a year to focus on adding more happy into her life, keying in on a different area each month. I have taken so much from this book that relates to my theme for this year to thrive.

One of the areas that I seek to thrive in in 2013 (and beyond) is money. I have shared some of my financial woes before, and I am not afraid to be honest about my good decisions and my bad ones. Money is an area that is never really very happy, but a whole lot of stressful. I want to change that.

Last fall, I paid my last major tuition bill. I will still have fees to pay over the next few semesters until I finish my dissertation, but not like what I have had for a regular semester. While I rejoiced at that, it also brings the reality that I will have to begin paying back student loans very soon. And I have quite the pile of them between these last two degrees.

Rather than pretending it's not there and that it's not coming quickly, I am trying to get out ahead of my loans. First, by eliminating the last tiny bit of my credit card debt that I have been working vigorously to pay off, and which should be gone before spring hits. And then, by throwing as much money as I can at my loans now, to hopefully reduce some of the interest payments later, and my overall payoff amount. This is one dragon that I'd rather slay head on, rather than waiting for it to come find me. Because I won't truly be thriving financially until this dude stops breathing fire down my back. 

So my year of "thriving" might actually look a little bit like the opposite in terms of "stuff". Spending less now so that I have more to spend down the road. Not that making some changes, wouldn't be a good thing anyway. I have definitely made some progress in my spending and saving habits and thought I'd share a few of my strategies. 

1. Figure out those items that I'd just prefer not to spend money on. And cut 'em. 

There are things I just don't need, that I have eliminated already (for the most part). Cable. Manis/pedis. Magazine subscriptions.  

2. Creating and actually using a monthly budget.

This has been a hard task, but an important one. My "budgeting" technique in the past has been to open my account and make sure it still has money in it before spending. Not exactly the best technique. For the past couple of months, I am working on an actual written budget for each month, with regular tracking. It takes time, but it's worth it.

3. Asking for gifts based on need, rather than want. 
I shared my excitement for our washer/dryer, which has made a world of a difference in our lives, and has helped us to save some money already. I have typically been more inclined to ask for Christmas and birthday presents that meet a need. Whether it has been a new winter coat, or most recently, a pair of new suitcases, I always love receiving something that I need. Nothing too flashy. My grandma stocked me up this year with all of the black dress socks that I will need for work for the next several years! And I can't even remember the last time I have bought my own pajamas. Thanks Mom!

4. Cutting food costs. 

Since I started the monthly meal planning, we have definitely gone out to dinner a lot less. Not only have we done less "lazy" eating out - those nights where it is unplanned, that you just don't feel like cooking dinner, but I have also been much better about taking my lunch. I can still reign in our grocery budget a bit by being more mindful about our grocery planning and using coupons.

Things that I still need to work on:

1. Cutting the coffee.

I have done much better with this during January and February. Even though I typically buy regular coffee rather than fancy lattes, it still adds up to get one every day. For awhile, I was trying to bring in my coffee from home, but I then developed a collection of travel mugs at the office that never made it home. So instead, I bought a coffee pot to keep in our office at work, and will make coffee there in the mornings. 

2. Accounting for non-monthly expenses in said budget. 

You know those things like car repairs, airline tickets for vacation, Christmas presents, etc. I often let those sneak up on me. And it would be a whole lot easier to put aside $10-50 a month, than have to pull them all out in the same month. So starting in February, they are being included in my monthly budget, and taken out on pay day to be put in a separate account. So I don't "accidentally" spend it. Better to have a more realistic plan at the beginning of the month.

3. Not buying on impulse, but allowing myself to spend. 
This will always be a hard one. I have a track record of being good about not spending any money for awhile, and then splurging all at once. Not a good habit. I think I will actually be much better off if I allow myself to spend more normally.

So that's the plan! I'll keep you posted. And stay tuned for more on The Happiness Project. Hoping to finish it this week!