Travel for Two

As we have been planning for our belated honeymoon, it hit me. This is the first big trip that Chris and I are taking together. 

We have traveled together before. That's not new. We drove to Iowa last summer for a reunion with my graduate school friends. We have headed out east together for the last several years to visit Chris' family. We have gone to the Rose Bowl and Florida with my family. And Chris joined me for a conference last year for some time in Orlando. 

But this time is different. This is us, planning an entire trip on our own. Over two weeks of adventures across three countries. Planes, trains, ferries and buses. Exchanging currencies. Determining what we both need in terms of structure and flexibility in our journey. Deciding when to get the advanced tickets and when to wait and make a game-time decision about what we want to do. Spending lots and lots of time trying to weigh advice from all of the interwebs. I am really enjoying our time spent researching the trip together, but wow, it can be overwhelming!

I'm finding that vacation planning can tell you a lot about your relationship. It provides insight into what each person individually values and what they need to feel fulfilled in a trip (and to stay sane). There is a need to be explicit in your expectations, and to not assume that the other person feels the same. To compromise, and make sure.

For example, Must Sees. We both have different things that we really want to do. And we can't do all of them. As we were talking about what day trips that we want to squeeze into the London leg of our trip, we were weighing our priorities of the Warner Brothers Studios to see the Harry Potter sets, a day trip through the Chunnel to Paris, and a bus tour to Stonehenge/Windsor Castle/Oxford. Sidenote: Channel + tunnel = Chunnel. Best thing ever! I'm a nerd. For both of us, Harry Potter was a given, because Harry Potter. Tickets booked. It's happening. But it was looking like it would make sense to choose between either Paris or Stonehenge versus trying to squeeze in both. For me, I'd choose Paris because I don't know when I will get there in the future. Chris also wants to go to Paris, but he worries that he'd feel some sense of regret, getting all the way to the UK and not making Stonehenge happen. Time to discuss. Is there a way that we can both be happy? 

Then there is the question of "How" we want to see different places. Are we bus trip people? Do we want a guided tour for things, or would we prefer to explore on our own? My aunt recommended that we do a biking tour of Paris, as a way to fit in a lot of sites in one day. Is that our style? Because this is our first kind of adventure, we are sort of guessing. We both agreed we weren't ready for a driving trip, so we are mixing in some self-guided destinations via public transportation, and selecting some guided day trips for the one's that seem a bit more complicated. If we go into this open minded, we can figure out what we'd prefer for next time.

Then there is the question of "What do I need on this trip to keep me from going crazy?" For me, I am pretty open to exploring lots of different things, as long as I am fed. Hangry is a thing. You can ask Chris - he's aware. He does not require specific meal times like I do. But he has learned that to avoid me getting crabby, food is important. Naps are also important.

To summarize: Naps. Food. Harry Potter. I'm excited.

How have you prioritized trip planning with a partner, friend, or family member? Any tips?    

Summer Goals

Summer is coveted time when you work in higher education.

Before you ask, no, I do not have summers off. But, throughout the end of the spring semester, I crave summer. It is a different pace. It is time to focus on planning ahead for the upcoming academic year, versus feeling like everything is getting done "just in time" or that I am constantly trying to catch up. It also feels like there is actually time to get out and enjoy summer, as I have less evening and weekend commitments. So we try to cram in as much fun as we can, and most of it in June and July. Once August 1 hits, something just shifts, and it feels like summer is over. That last month feels frantic as I try to get everything done before the students come back.

Last summer flew by at warp speed. We did a lot of fun things, but there were so many other things I would have loved to make happen that I just didn't get to. I think it was all of those baseball games and races. Because we aren't really traveling at all this summer and don't have too many major set things on the calendar, I have tried to set some summer goals, to make sure that I am making the most of it. Here they are for 2014:

Go regularly to the farmer's market. It is my favorite part of summer. And the best way that I can ensure that I am eating healthy and cutting costs on my grocery budget during the summer. So far I have gotten some delicious stuff: bread, honey, cheese curds, asparagus, strawberries, snap peas, lettuce, kale, spinach, and mushrooms. I can't wait to see what else the vendors will have as the summer goes on.

Actually cook. During the school year, it is easy to get out of the habit of meal planning and cooking and just choose to go out to eat instead. We really got out of the habit of cooking during the weeks before and after our wedding, and I honestly kind of miss it. Although I would love to spend every evening dining outdoors on a restaurant patio, I want to take advantage of the extra time that I have to try some new recipes and plan out our meals. Good old habit building. Grilling outside and utilizing our crock pot are actually better options for us during the summer, as we don't have air conditioning and will do anything we can to avoid making the house hotter.

Run. It's been a really long time. And I actually haven't scheduled out any races for this summer - mainly to save money, but also because I've been lazy. I need to get my new pair of running shoes, and get back out on the road. I miss the personal time that it provides.

Read. Summer is when I do the most leisure reading. And I have a long list of books waiting to be picked up. I love turning off the tv and reading instead. I just finished reading The Signature of All Things by Elizabeth Gilbert and can't put down The Silkworm by Robert Galbraith (JK Rowling). I made a goal to read 52 books this year (one a week). I've only finished 11 and it's been 26 weeks. It's time to catch up!


Plan our honeymoon. I am so glad that we made the decision not to honeymoon right after the wedding. We would have been exhausted, and I probably would have been miserable, thanks to that good old summer cold that showed up during the week after our wedding. I think that having the time set aside to plan now also has been a good transition post-wedding. It gives us something to look forward to, and I'm not experiencing those post-wedding blues that some folks have.

Organize. Since we had folks around during the week before and after the wedding, we did our best to clean the house a bit. This sometimes (often) meant shoving things out of sight, which has left some of our closets and storage spaces in sore shape. Yikes. I would love to go through and organize them while we have the time to do it, so that no one gets an injury from opening a closet door. Not necessarily the most fun summer task, but one that will clear a bit of physical and mental clutter. I know the crap is in there, and it's staring me down. It has to go!

Checking out free/cheap stuff. In our effort to save for our honeymoon, we have been looking for all of the different fun, free things to do around Milwaukee this summer. There are a number of outdoor concerts, movies, and other cool stuff that we just haven't checked out yet. It is easy to stop paying attention to our fun budget during the summer because we want to do all of the festivals and stuff. My hope is that if we make a game out of finding the free stuff, it will continue to be fun. So far, we have been to a free Symphony concert in the park, the Jelly Belly Factory tour, the Criterion Classic cycling race that went through our neighborhood, and Summerfest, of course. I'm hoping to make it to Shakespeare in the Park this weekend, as it ends on Sunday.

It's so hard to believe that July is next month. It is just starting to feel like summer, and we only have 9 weekends left before the students move in!

Do you set summer goals? What are they?

A Love Letter...to Iowa

Ahh, cornfields.

It has been two weeks since we visited Iowa. I already want to go back.

We left after work on a Thursday, and traveled across to Madison, down through Dubuque/Cedar Rapids, and then across I-80. As we started getting closer to Des Moines, I became giddy with excitement. Every other word out of my mouth was, "Ooh, Casey's gas stations!" followed by "Ooh, Hy-Vee - the best grocery store ever!" and "Ooh, Adventureland!" Never mind that it was approaching midnight and Chris was trying to sleep in the car. With each new thing, I could barely contain myself. And then the following conversation happened.

"I love Iowa. It's my favorite place." I said.

"I thought Milwaukee was your favorite place," Chris said, looking a little hurt/concerned.

"I mean, I love Milwaukee, but Iowa is my place. It's where I grew up. It's where all of those important years happened."

"I am not moving to Iowa." A firm response from Chris.

"Iowa can be my favorite place without me living here. I'm not asking you to move here." Silently I was thinking but did not say, "But I do hope that you love it as much as I do because I'm at least going to need to come back for some visits."

Iowa. It is my place. We moved to Urbandale, Iowa when I was 8 years old and stayed through the end of my sophomore year of high school before my dad's job took us back to Milwaukee again. I returned for a summer in college to work at Living History Farms day camp, went back the following summer for a week as a counselor at Catholic Youth Camp and then again for two years of graduate school at Iowa State. Sure, Milwaukee is where my family is, but I consider myself equally from Wisconsin/Iowa, and I don't know if that will change as I accumulate more years here in Milwaukee.

It's hard to put into words just why I love Iowa so much. But I suppose I will give it a shot....

It is my home where I remember playing hide and seek, building Barbie villages in the basement, and swinging on our swing set in the backyard. It's the home where we planted a tree that I grew from a seed in a margarine container. It is where I learned to drive, had my first kiss, had braces put on and taken off, and babysat almost ever kid in the neighborhood.

It is the people. Seriously the nicest you will ever meet. I am not saying folks in other places aren't nice too, or that it's a competition. But I don't know if people are born nicer than the ones that live in Iowa.

It is Hy-vee grocery store. Hands down the best there is. Chris seems to think I'm crazy for liking a grocery store so much, but I think others who have experienced it too and now live somewhere else would probably agree.

It's the corn fields. Not right where I live, but never far away.

Earlier last week, a friend shared this TED Talk from Pico Iyer about "Where is Home?" It made me think. It made me feel things. It was very moving for me, because I consider many different places home. When you ask me where my hometown is, how do I answer? Is it the place where I was born? I only lived in Wauwatosa, WI until I was 8, so the years I remember there are fairly limited. Is it where my mom lives now? Waukesha is great, but I really only lived there for two years of high school, one summer during college, and the seven months before Chris and I found our current place. It feels strange to leave out Madison, WI, the best college town ever. And of course, Iowa.

Iowa is deeply imbedded in me. It's a part that will never go away. And I like that. 

Painting is my favorite

So this is a pretty belated post, but too fun not to share!

Have you heard of Splash Studio? Okay, if you don't live in Milwaukee, probably not.

It's this awesome painting bar. You heard me. Painting bar.

They do classes during the evenings and on weekends where you can paint along with an instructor, or you can just go to the bar, pick out a canvas and freestyle it. I have now been there four times, which I guess makes me a regular. If I wasn't minding my fun budget, I might be there once a week. Except then I would have to start paying people to take my paintings because we'd run out of wall space for em all.

Anyway...rather than give my mom a traditional gift for Mother's Day this year, I wanted to give her an experience. Something that we could do together. We are both fairly busy, and so it's nice to set aside time to hang out. And what would be more fun to do than painting and drinking?

I let her pick out a painting that she wanted to do and she picked the poppy fields painting. Very pretty. And surprisingly not too hard.

Mom is ready to paint!

The model painting - Poppy Fields

My happy clouds. The best part. Thank you Bob Ross.

How amazing is this? She added in the Wizard of Oz characters, and the Emerald City!
Sorry for the super blurry photo, but too cool not to share.

Mom, with her finished painting. I love it!

My masterpiece. Went for a little whimsy.
My trees look like ice cream cone tops. 

We had so much fun! Painting is definitely more fun with a glass of wine. You just have to be careful not to mix up the wine glass with the dirty paint water. Almost did that. Twice. 

If you live in the area, you should definitely Get Splashed!

Stuck in an Elevator

My view, after they got the doors open.

Sorry for the lack of posts lately. I honestly think it is this weather. It makes me very sluggish. I am having a hard time shaking it. It is really putting a damper on having any adventures. Or really, just doing anything period. I get home from work and want to just hibernate. Go away gloom. You've overstayed your welcome.

But, here I am. And I am finally ready to share my elevator story. I hope I haven't built it up so much that now y'all are going to experience a huge letdown. It isn't that exciting. Anyway...here goes.

Yesterday was exactly two weeks since I had gotten into the elevator at work.

I was on my way home, and waiting for the elevator, when I realized that I couldn't find my keys. I ran back into the office, but still couldn't find them. I walked over to our main office to see if I had left them there. Still no keys. I checked m bag again, still no keys. I went back into my office another time, and finally found them in a pile on my desk. I went back to catch the elevator again, now at about 5:15 pm.

I typically park in the lot across the street, but I was running late that morning and figured the lot was probably already full by the time I got to campus. I pulled into the basement garage, which seemed like a good decision since it was supposed to storm all day. So on this particular day, rather than getting off on the ground floor and walking out the front door with my colleague, I was taking the elevator from the third floor all the way to the basement. My coworker had just gotten out on the ground floor, the doors shut, and I had started to go down when the power in the building went out. The elevator stopped and the lights went out.

My first reaction was to wait and see if the power would go back on. The lights turned back on pretty quickly, but it wasn't moving and the light for the floor was still out. I waited a few minutes (maybe more like seconds, but it felt like awhile), and then started to ring the bell, as someone was ringing the bell in the elevator next to me too. Someone came over to the elevator fairly quickly, and I could faintly hear her saying, "Is someone in there?" I responded "Yes!" She said the firemen were on their way and would be there soon to get me out. I told her "Okay! I can't really hear you very well though." I figured I must be further towards the basement than I thought, and she was either on the ground or the first floor.

Now, if you know me, you know that I love safety. In fact, one of my favorite volunteer responsibilities at work is serving as one of the floor captains for the fire and tornado drills. I am fairly good at staying calm in these type of situations and helping to provide directions to others. I figured, okay, they know I am here. Someone is coming. Just be patient. Find something to occupy yourself while you wait.

But I am not going to lie, I started to get a little scared. I was doing my best to stay calm, but my hands were shaking as I started to text a few folks to let them know that I was in the elevator. I figured it didn't hurt to try to catch a coworker who might still be in the building. Just as I was going through my phone book, my sister happened to call. I told her what was going on, and talked to her for a few minutes before I hung up the phone. Didn't want to miss any important communication.

The longer I waited, the harder it became to convince myself not to freak out a little. Because naturally, my brain was racing with a million thoughts:

What if they can't get to me and I have to crawl out a ceiling tile to get out? That kind of sounds horrible. Thank goodness I am already almost to the basement.  Hmm. What would MacGuyver do? Wow, I'm old. If there was a student in here with me, they wouldn't even get that reference.

What if I am in here for days? I don't think I have any water or snacks. Seriously. Where did I put that last LaCroix? Not even any gum? Fail. And why is my phone down to 20% battery life already? Stupid Jurassic Park game is draining the thing. They should build all new elevators with phone charging stations, just in case. Except the power is still out...so...no.

What if this is the start of the zombie apocalypse? A total Rick Grimes situation. They are going to open the doors on the other side, having already eaten everyone else, and I am not going to be able to fend all of them off. What is in my bag that could be used as a weapon? Why don't I have more friends that are trained police officers or know how to use a cross bow? And why the heck aren't they in the elevator with me?  

I suppose that is what you get when you watch all three seasons of The Walking Dead in a two-week span. A sign that I need to turn off the tv. Don't worry fellow Union staff, I would never bring an actual weapon into the building.

Eventually, I posted to Facebook. Best decision I have ever made. Because when my colleague and I started messaging back and forth, that is when I knew more of what was going on outside of the elevator, and also when I started to realize that perhaps they knew about the woman in the other elevator, but they didn't know about me. That's when I really got scared. Until I got a call on my cell phone to confirm that the the firemen were about to get me out.  Finally, some sense of calm.

Nothing was more exciting than when the doors opened. I was indeed between floors. Slightly more in the basement than the first floor. The firemen had to lift me out of the elevator, since it was a pretty big drop. Not the glamorous moment that it sounds like. I just wanted out. I couldn't even tell you if they were attractive firemen. We can just assume that they were.

There were students cheering for me as I got out. And one taking a picture. If someone sees it, please tell me. In the future...resist the urge to take a picture of someone who had been stuck in an elevator for an hour being basket carried by two firemen without their permission. Embarrassing! Well, unless the firemen were really attractive, and you are providing that picture to me and only me. Then you are a kind soul.

It also became clear that the power was still out in the building. I couldn't really tell from inside because it was so stinking bright inside. Walking out into the dark parking garage was a little eerie. But I got a full day of free parking out of it. I suppose that makes up for the whole ordeal, which was about an hour in total.

Someone asked afterwards if I would have preferred a companion in the elevator with me. Maybe yes. Because it was definitely scary to be in there by myself, especially as my head was running through all kinds of scenarios. But I don't think I would want to be in there with someone who was less calm than me. That would have been horrible. And no way that I'd want to be in there when it's packed. It was warm enough in there with just me! 

I got back in the elevator yesterday. I hadn't been planning on it. But I left my phone in my office at the end of the day, and parked in the garage when I came back to get it. Walking up four flights of stairs sounded exhausting. So I got in. I went up. I got off. And it was fine.

I took the stairs back down. No need to push it.

An Announcement

One of my favorite drawings that hangs on our wall. From here.

In the major announcements category....

Chris and I are getting married! Woo hoo!

We are very excited and are enjoying all of the wonderful, kind words that friends have shared. In our four years (and eight days) of dating, we have been through so many adventures. It's exciting to plan for this big step in our future together.

If you are one of our Facebook friends, this is probably old news by now, but I have been getting lots of questions and felt like a short post would still get a read or two. Am I right?

The first question that I get asked is, "so what's the story?" It's a pretty simple one. We talked about getting married and spending our lives together. Chris talked to my mom. We made it official in a quick minute after walking into our apartment when we got back from family dinner. Pretty perfect. At least for us. I think when you are making the decision to spend the rest of your lives together, not much else is needed for it to be perfect. A big grand story just wouldn't be Chris and I.

The second question that I get asked is "Show me (Send me a picture of) your ring!" Don't have one yet. Not too concerned about it. We'll figure that one out eventually. I disagree with Beyonce that you have to put a ring on it to make it official.

As for any other questions as to date, location, etc., the answers will come with time. For right now, we are doing what we do every night. Watching eps of The West Wing. Sounds good to me.

Giveaway #3: Full of Secrets!

First, I have to start by thanking everyone who text, tweeted, or commented on my last post. I was a mess of tears and snot as I was writing that post, and it was ugly. Major puffy eyes. But there was something freeing about putting it out there.

I received a number of responses from others who could relate to my feelings. I honestly wish that no one would have to feel this way about their own abilities, but there is some comfort in knowing that I am not alone. Now if only we could find those strategies to work through these challenges. That's my next goal.

On a happier note, in honor of me submitting my secret to Post Secret, I decided to host another giveaway. I haven't done one of those in awhile!

The Goods:
Your very own copy of Frank Warren's most recent book, PostSecret: Confessions on Life, Death, and God!



This is the one that I got to see when I  visited the art museum in Indianapolis a few years ago. I still can remember some of the postcards that made me stop and think. So I'd love to share it with you so that you can add it to your coffee table or office. We actually have a signed copy in our office - great conversation starter!

How to Enter:
This is where you have to come out from the shadows. I know you are there readers, but you will have to make yourselves known to enter. There are two ways:

1. Follow/subscribe to my blog (click Join This Site on the right), and shoot me a comment so I know you are subscribing (I can't always tell if you are a new follower, plus this helps me know that my current followers who are also interested) - Counts as one entry!

2. Add a second comment on this post with the secret from the site (this week or a past week) that most makes you think - Counts as one entry! (Make sure I have your name too)

I will draw a winner next Friday and make arrangements to get the book to you. No worries, you can still enter if you live outside of Milwaukee, but in the United States. Sorry, no international shipping.

Know that I love things like random number generators, so I promise that all drawings will be totally legit. No funny business.

Good luck!