Our Ceremony

All of the tears. Captured by Lisa Mathewson Photography

As much as I loved some of the other details of our wedding reception, it is the ceremony that continues to stick with me. It was the best part of the wedding. Because it is what made it a wedding, and not just a fun family party.

Throughout the evening, family and friends commented that the day was very "us." They could see Chris and I in all of the smaller parts. For me, this was most true for our ceremony.

As we grappled with what we wanted our ceremony to be, we decided on a few key things:

1. It would be heartfelt and thoughtful, while not being super traditional.
2. We would walk in and out together, without a processional.
3. We wanted something more than just the readings and vows. (As to the what, that took some additional pondering).

Our Officiant

Our friend Beau graciously agreed to officiate our wedding. And I think it was really special that it was him, because he was there when we first met at a professional development event, and later reconnected at a conference. Beau has officiated a number of other weddings, including some of our other friends. Plus, I think he both looked the part, but also did an amazing job of leading us through the whole thing.

Our Ring Warming Ceremony

This. I am so glad we did this.

If you haven't heard of a ring warming ceremony before, know that I had never seen one in person before we found it online. As we planned our ceremony, we didn't want to do a unity candle or a sand ceremony. Something about pouring sand in the same venue where our guests would be eating just sounded like an accident waiting to happen. I'm clumsy. As we explored other options, I read quite a bit about Celtic handfasting, before deciding that while we both have Irish roots, it wasn't something we felt confident about pulling off, and we didn't want to screw up something that holds a sacred place within a culture.

After reading a few things about a ring warming ceremony (here and here), it just felt like the right fit for us. It was a way to involve all of our family and friends in our ceremony, rather than feeling like they were just "spectators," which I really liked. And I truly believe that things carry energy in them, and having our loved ones inject our wedding bands with their love and positive energy seemed pretty awesome.

Many of the different sites that we read talked about the challenges of timing for this, so we put it at the beginning of the ceremony, in case the rings took awhile to get through all of our guests. We were a bit nervous about it, as specially as we talked it through with the wedding party in our Skype wedding rehearsal (side note: best idea ever) and worried that there might be awkward standing in silence. Also, sweaty, gross rings. But then we just decided to let it happen. Two of our friends, Aileen and Lucy, served as "ring bears," making sure that the ring was passed through all of our guests and returned safely to the front.

As we watched our rings pass through our family and friends hands, it just felt really intimate and special. And I had to hold back tears, as my grandmother was the last one to hold the rings and bring them back to the groomsmen.

Our Readings

We looked at a couple of different readings, and ultimately decided on "i carry your heart with me (i carry it in/my heart)" by e.e. cummings, which was beautifully read by Katie, one of my best friends from college. I first heard the poem during the wedding scene in "In Her Shoes," and way back then thought it was the perfect wedding reading.

Our second reading was "He'll Make Me Happy" by Jeff Moss. Also known as Miss Piggy and Kermit's wedding song. We're Muppets people. Call us cheesy, if you will. But the lyrics are actually pretty special, and our friend Ann did an awesome job reading it without it sounding corny at all. She did refrain from doing Kermit and Piggy voices, which was probably a good choice.

Our Vows

We had discussed writing our own vows. Not for us. We are much more likely to share our feelings and thoughts with each other privately, than to do so in front of folks, even if they are our loved ones. I don't think either of us would have gotten through them and actually been able to say the words - I had a hard enough time repeating back what Beau said first.

After much searching and finding things that we didn't want to say...("honor and obey" was out for sure), we found these online (slightly modified), and thought they fit us:

(Chris), I choose you to be my partner
Loving what I know of you
And trusting what I do not yet know
I look forward to the opportunity to grow alongside you
Getting to know the person you will become
And falling in love with you a little more every day
I promise to love and cherish you
To laugh with you and grieve with you
To be truthful and honest with you
And to bravely face together whatever life may bring us

It felt a bit ironic that a few months before the wedding, we watched one of the last How I Met Your Mother episodes where Barney was struggling to write his vows. He points out that Marshall and Lily had already broken all of their vows. They make the decision to update them, and continue updating them later on. Because life changes. And there are no perfect vows.

While our vows may not be perfect for our entire lives together, I don't know if that is a reasonable goal to be striving for. I think, instead, as we made the commitment to entering into this formal partnership together, albeit a legally binding one, we both agreed to do the best that we can. To try. And to understand that there will be many points along our journey together where stuff will get real and we will deal with it. And more than one time where we will have to face an obstacle that we never saw coming. In that regard, they are the best vows that they could be, for us.

What I Remember Most

• So initially my event-planning brain was on, and I couldn't get past the fact that we were standing really far off center from the ribbon backdrop. I was totally preoccupied. Did it really matter? No. Did it bug me? Absolutely. Once the ring ceremony started, I made everyone move. I own that this is sort of crazy, but that's just who I am.
• Chris couldn't look at me because he was too worried he'd lose it. He spent most of the ceremony looking down at the ceremony script in Beau's hands. I watched him watching what Beau was reading. Such a handsome husband.
• Vaguely knowing that other folks were there and that some were a bit teary, but having no idea that there were LOTS of tears. When I was told that a friend was genuinely sobbing, it was a total surprise.
• Concentrating really hard on saying the right words.
• Being SO happy and so excited when it was all official!

Seriously the best day.

The Finer Details

I wanted to share some of the wedding projects, and how they turned out. I debated sharing my "How Tos" as I did them, but there was no way that I could do that along the way, as it just felt like too much. A number of them developed into love-hate relationships. I said "Why did I think this was a good idea?" many times. But now, I'm actually pretty proud of the ones that we focused on.

So here we go...

Photo by Lisa Mathewson Photography

Our invitations were one of my favorite early projects. We ordered them through replybydesignstudio, and made arrangements through Chris' dad to print them at his company. They were simple and elegant. With the awesome help of my friend Claudia, we added the baker's twine and the gold glitter envelope liners, made from glitter wrapping paper from Paper Source. 

Photo by Lisa Mathewson Photography

Our table ceterpieces were fairly simple. My amazing aunt made black and white "summer stripe" table squares and runners, which were featured throughout our event. Seamstress extraordinaire! We then used gold chargers as a base for the flowers, which were in an assortment of mason jars wrapped in baker's twine as well. I was all about the baker's twine, and using it wherever it made sense. I will tell you about how I ended up with $40 worth of the stuff some other time...

We did simple table numbers in black Ikea frames, which had different quotes on them. 

And one of my favorite, but more tedious details, were the votives. I added loose gold glitter with a bit of glue tape to the rims of the votive holders. Messy. Lesson learned: should have sealed the stuff. Just one of the many reasons that I continue to find glitter in the cats fur. 

Photo by Lisa Mathewson Photography

One of our main goals for the wedding was to feature Milwaukee. Many of our friends and family were coming from out of town, and we wanted them to fall in love with the city that we call home. Because, of course, we want them to come back! That was why we chose Milwaukee Public Market as the perfect downtown wedding venue. The venue has such an amazing vibe, just by itself, and the staff did an amazing job of transforming the second floor area into a beautiful wedding space. Through the culinary magic of their different vendors, we were also able to feature foods that said Wisconsin, like brat bites, cheese, and mini cream puffs. Plus they showcased an awesome assortment of Wisconsin beers. It was seriously the best venue ever, and the only one that we looked at. Serious plug: If you are looking to get married in Milwaukee and want a fun venue, you must chat with Ellen and the other staff at the Milwaukee Public Market. 

We also thought it would be a fun twist to utilize the Milwaukee handkerchief from HANMade Milwaukee, as our "guest book." One of my favorite moments on the day after the wedding was looking at all of the places that folks had signed. While many put their names around the border, others picked out locations on the map that may have been special to them. I can't wait to frame it and hang it up in our house! 

Photo by Lisa Mathewson Photography

We also wanted folks to have the opportunity to leave us a longer message, or advice as we start our first year of marriage. I found a cute little blue ceramic market basket at Anthropologie, that looked just like one you might put strawberries in. I thought it was an awesome fit for the location, and can't wait to figure out how to use it at home.

Photo by Lisa Mathewson Photography

Glitter was ever present throughout our wedding. In fact, long before we got married, I nicknamed our wedding, "Project Glitter Bomb." One of the sparkling touches was on the banners that we featured throughout the venue. Using a modified version of this tutorial from A Practical Wedding, I utilized a party banner kit from Party City to make banners that said "Mr" and "Mrs," "Always," and "Treat Yo Self," for the dessert table of course. I traced each of the letters with more of the glitter wrapping paper, and then adhered them to the different colored letters. They were on of my favorite things to see come to life in the beautiful space.

Photo by Lisa Mathewson Photography

Photo by Lisa Mathewson Photography

Ahh, the ribbon backdrop. No project became a bigger pain in the butt over the course of making it. And in hindsight, I would have loved to add some additional width to the thing. But it did look pretty nice for our ceremony.

A few other little things made the day special:

• Bathroom baskets with all of the essentials for our guests. You know, tide pens, mints, bobby pins, etc.
• Black and white striped "L-O-V-E" letters. Not my best painting, but they turned out okay and made good photo props.
• Our fun and simple cake topper, that graced the little 9 inch cake that we purchased from Whole Foods. I think this was actually one of the first things that we bought.  

I am happy to provide tutorials on any of the crafty things if you are looking to do something similar. Just let me know which ones.

So there you go! : )

Married

First dance, captured by Lisa Mathewson Photography

It is hard to believe it, but Chris and I have already been married for one month. A special, tiny anniversary that we celebrated yesterday by seeing Ray Lamontagne at Summerfest.

I had been intending to write a blog post about our wedding weekend a bit sooner, but was simultaneously hit by an intense summer cold while trying to relax and take a break from doing All. The. Things. My first week back at work was a total blur. I've been in catch up mode ever since. And trying to do all of the fun summer things, so it doesn't feel like this one got away.
But I didn't want to get too far away from the wedding, because there were so many amazing memories from that weekend that I worry will get lost. The fact that it was beautiful, relaxed, fun, and perfectly us.

I started to write a post, that then felt like a novel. Too much. Too too much. You would have stopped reading, three paragraphs in. So instead we will break this up. Make it a bit more digestable. Consider it Kirstin and Chris' wedding, in small plates. Starting with the favorites.

Some of my favorite things about our wedding:

• The most beautiful weather. I think JerBear called that one in for us. 
• We hosted our cocktail hour before the ceremony. Call us untraditional, but I think it was the best decision ever. I was so much calmer going into the ceremony, and okay with all eyes being on us, because we had already greeted folks. I got past the stage fright, for the most part. We didn't want folks to think that we weren't taking the ceremony seriously (I wrote the thing over and over many times, trust me), but we wanted the vibe to feel a bit less stuffy and more us. It worked. 
• Our ring warming ceremony was absolutely beautiful. We weren't really sure exactly how the timing was going to work out, or if it would just drag on. But it turned out lovely, when we just let it happen. Plus we had to awesome "ring bears" (HIMYM shout out!) 
• I really loved all of our ceremony, as we actually heard and said it. As I had pulled the pieces of it together in the months before the wedding, I spent a lot of time thinking about what words and what vows would "fit" us. And then, in the early morning hours of that day, I was tossing and turning, and realized that I had taken out a critical part of the thing that I needed to add back in. The one legal part that you have to say. Nothing like last minute editing. In the moments of the ceremony, I felt each of those words though. And they were just right. 
• The food was awesome. We didn't really get to eat any of it that night (in fact, the first thing I really ate that night was a piece of pizza a friend gave me at a bar afterwards), but everyone seemed to enjoy that we skipped the traditional plated chicken or steak, and instead went with a taco bar, pulled pork sliders, assorted apps and a mini-dessert bar. Food was one thing we cared a lot about and we wanted stuff folks would enjoy eating. Not the typical banquet meal.
• In lieu of favors, we made donations to the Humane Society and American Cancer Society. We invited friends and family to join us in the donation (instead of clinking glasses, we'd kiss for that), and we doubled what we were able to donate. It felt so meaningful when we made the donations. Seriously the best moment. 
• We also donated all of our flowers after the wedding to Petals for Patients, an organization that shares them with hospice patients. We loved our flowers, which were beautiful and exactly what we wanted, but we also knew that we didn't need to take them home. Not only was it helpful to us in our planning, but also a meaningful way to pay it forward.
• We listened to the most amazing, heartfelt speeches/toasts from our friends and family. It was truly a room filled with love. There were many, many tears. I cried a lot.
• Our first dance to "Oh" by Dave Matthews. Specifically the Live from Las Vegas, Dave and Tim version, for those of you who know our love of Dave Matthews. While it felt totally weird to have folks watching us dance, and I think we were both glad that we picked a shorter song, it was the perfectly sweet moment. 

We were pretty selective about where we put the most time, money, and energy. Some things were important to us, others were not. I am glad that we were thoughtful about our ceremony and reception, with a focus on our guests. I loved the entire feel of the event because you could see all of us throughout. I loved our decorations and some of the smaller touches about our day. I am also really glad that I didn't spend time doing favors, escort cards, or programs. We just didn't need them.

I am also really glad that we kept our wedding small and intimate. We aimed for 75-100, and ended up with just under 80 guests. Any couple planning a wedding will tell you that the guest list is the hardest part. And it was. There were so many people I wanted to be there, but we knew that a 300-person wedding would have scared the crap out of us. Neither of us are fans of being the center of attention. We also knew that there were friends and family we would really want to be there, that wouldn't be able to make the trip. And they were definitely missed, but there in spirit. 

Since the wedding, folks regularly ask, "How does it feel to be married?" My typical answer is "Mostly the same. But isn't that kind of how it should be?" In many ways, our day-to-day lives haven't changed. The adjustments, at least within the first month, have been:

• Lots of name change paperwork. Holy wow. Also, hoping my new driver's license arrive, because it feels silly using a paper one...
• Getting used to saying my new last name or saying "my husband" without giggling. Sometimes caused by others giggling or freaking out when they hear me say either.
• Getting used to signing my new last name. Looks like third grade cursive classes all over again.
• Focusing in on making some of those bigger plans together. The grown up things. Like financial decisions. Those things that make me feel old.

We are now past the wedding stuff, and on to the marriage stuff. And that's the part I was most excited for. As beautiful of a day as it was, it was just a day. And now is the part where we try our best to live our vows every day, and to figure this thing out was we go. 

Not long after our wedding, I was looking at a web site that posted the following from Anne Morrow Lindburgh's "Gift from the Sea". I sent it to myself and put in the subject "Remember this," because it strikes me that this is what being married is really all about:

“When you love someone, you do not love them all the time, in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. It is an impossibility. It is even a lie to pretend to. And yet this is exactly what most of us demand. We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships. We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb. We are afraid it will never return. We insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity; when the only continuity possible, in life as in love, is in growth, in fluidity - in freedom, in the sense that the dancers are free, barely touching as they pass, but partners in the same pattern.

The only real security is not in owning or possessing, not in demanding or expecting, not in hoping, even. Security in a relationship lies neither in looking back to what was in nostalgia, nor forward to what it might be in dread or anticipation, but living in the present relationship and accepting it as it is now. Relationships must be like islands, one must accept them for what they are here and now, within their limits - islands, surrounded and interrupted by the sea, and continually visited and abandoned by the tides.”

Yeah.

40 Days

Holy Wow, y'all. We are just 40 days out from We Do!

I am learning that there is always something to be done. Well, really three main things:

1. Spending money.
2. Making decisions.
3. Making stuff.

Confession: I know I said I wasn't into all that wedding stuff. Turns out, I like some of it. Well, really just the last one. The crafting part is totally my thing. The first two not so much. I'm terrible at making decisions. And spending money makes my stomach churn. Although it is fun to get packages on a daily basis. Fairly certain our mail carriers are having "fun" finding ways to hide the packages.

But I am proving to be a champ at:

• Covering things in glitter - envelopes, signs, candle holders (the carpet...accidentally the cats, woops).
• Wrapping things in baker's twine.
• Assembling marquee signs with paper mache, spray paint and globe lights.
• Assessing risk and determining that homemade marquee lights, although a great Pinterest project, might be a fire hazard.
• Purchasing every travel-sized toiletry possible at Target, in the event one of our guests might have need for a bobby pin, a mint, etc.  

Stuff is getting checked off of the list. My dress has been altered and is hanging safely at my mom's house. The groomsmen have some snazzy matching outfits. A wedding production plan is in progress - because when you work in Student Affairs, that is what you do. 

Marry, we will. Marquee sign or no marquee sign.

72 Days

Handsome.

Oh hey. So I guess it's 2014, huh? And March. Yep, that happened.

I don't know where January and February went, but they sure flew by. I think all of my energy went to two things: feverishly watching the Olympics and trying to get over my second cold of 2014. I think it is a sign that I need to be in a warm weather climate. Because having one cold a month is simply unacceptable.

Oh, and wedding planning. That's happening.

Because, you see, we have less than 75 days to go. 72, in fact. Most common conversation right now is...

Someone: "I mean, you pretty much have all the big stuff done, right?"
Me: "Yeah, that doesn't really count any more."

Because while there are a number of things that we can't do yet, the planning has definitely picked up. And there are a number of little projects that we need to be doing now so that we don't get too far behind.

Some of our recent accomplishments include:

• Picking out menswear. Not what I might call exciting, but I survived. And there will be some dapper dudes on May 25th. 
• Ordering Chris' wedding band. I love what he picked out. Mine's next.
• My first dress fitting! I'm thankful my dress doesn't need a ton of alterations. Just a little bit of hemming and a tighter strap. 
• Completing our wedding registries. We decided that we don't need a lot of things, and focused on doing a honeymoon registry through Honeyfund. We do have smaller registries with Crate and Barrel and Kohl's too. But we are SO excited for our trip to London, Ireland and Wales, and appreciate our families and friends who want to share in the experience with us. 
• Making a million appointments. It has been easier to schedule everything out. Each haircut between now and the wedding. A couple of massages to keep my stress down. Flowers. Food. All the things get their own appointment.
• Spending monies. Let's be honest. That's a big piece of this whole part of the process. Swiping cards and writing checks. 
• Planning our rehearsal dinner.
• Assembling our invitations. This turned out to be one of my favorite projects because it was fun craft time with my friend Claudia. 
• Buying stamps. Multiple times. Because I lost them. 
• Setting up premarital counseling. For me, the marriage planning is just as much, if not more important than the wedding planning. More. Definitely more. 
• Writing our ceremony and picking out readings.

As much as we have done, the To Do List just seems to get longer. And we keep chugging along. And we'll be married at the end, which is the important part. Right?! : )

Just 72 days...

An Update or Two

Thank you.

I have had a hard time getting it together to write anything after that last post. I'll be honest - it took a lot out of me. It was very freeing to share how I was feeling and finally open up. But it did something more.

It opened the door to some really wonderful, but very emotional conversations with great friends via text, e-mail, Facebook message, and phone call. Friends who have experienced their own loss. Who are navigating their way through their own life transitions and figuring out how to do so without the loved ones that they miss. There is something about having a shared experience that connects people. And while I wish that we didn't share this particular one, I have found that being able to have an open, honest conversation about missing a dead parent, spouse, or family member helps in the healing. So thank you. My tears were flowing that night. But they were good tears.

These last few weeks have been pretty crazy. When you work in education, the start of the school year is sort of a whirlwind, but in this awesome, high energy, "This is a pretty cool job" kinda way. I have been going in high gear for so long that I am looking forward to a little bit of a break. To read books. To sit around in sweatpants. And to get back to a bit of wedding planning. Because guess what the next step is? Cake!

We are also getting our engagement photos taken in about a month, and I am pretty excited. Because I have a new accessory for my pics.

My engagement ring is here! Isn't it pretty? I love it.

We had actually ordered the ring a few months ago from Rare Earth, a fine jewelry shop on Etsy. It arrived in August, and I immediately fell in love. It's beautiful, personal, and ethically sourced/conflict-free - something that was important to me. Melanie actually uses 90% recycled metals, which I think is pretty awesome. Unfortunately, we did not do a very good job on the sizing, and the thing practically fell off my finger. The designer was great to work with though, and let us reorder the correct size. When I got home today, my little furball greeted me at the door with a bow tied around his neck. He's a great gift giver (as is Chris)! But Bucky was just as excited as I was to get the thing off of him and onto my finger instead. : )

There is one other reason that I am excited for our pictures. No, it's not the fact that we have to be all lovey dovey in public. That part is going to be hard. You might also recall, it means I can shop! Anything wedding related. Right?!

With my schedule, I honestly have no desire to go to the mall and struggle through trying on a bunch of stuff in a fitting room. Per the recommendation of a friend, I signed up for an account on Stitch Fix. It is sort of like Birchbox, but better. Because it's clothes and accessories! You pay a $20 styling fee and get a box with 5 different items. Tops, skirts, jewelry - all kinds of stuff. When you sign up, you create a custom profile, where you give lots of details on your preferred sizes, styles, price range, etc. You can also share a Pinterest board with them, so that they can get a better sense of your style wish list.  Plus, you can specify any special things you are looking for - like clothes for a trip...or engagement photos!

When your box arrives, you have three days to try on the items and decide what you want to keep and what you are going to send back. The $20 styling fee is applied towards whatever items you want to purchase, and you pay the difference. They give you a prepaid envelope to send back whatever you don't want to keep. And they are totally okay if you send a bunch of stuff back because they want you to give feedback on what worked and what didn't, to help make future boxes better.

I got my first box last night and had a ton of fun trying on the clothes. One of the nice things that they do is provide a guide for some different ways to style each of the different pieces. I got a few things that I wouldn't likely wear, but a few that I love. And one thing that will be totally perfect for our engagement pictures. And I loved that it arrived at my front door, picked out just for me.

Who knew that I'd get so excited about some wedding things?

Something Blue

Image originally from here

I've been holding something in that I'm ready to put out into the universe. Consider this post my "Why Chris is the most amazing person in the world" post.

If you have talked to me at all since the day we got engaged, you may have noticed that I have experienced quite a bit of anxiety around wedding planning. More than one person has responded to me by saying, "you need to be more excited." Which I haven't responded to well. Because let's be real here - I get to choose my own emotions and my response. And being told what to feel doesn't feel very good. It just makes me more upset. You may have thought you were being helpful. But you probably made me cry. And here's why...

(deep breath)

On Memorial Day, just a few days past the "one year until our wedding" mark, I finally told Chris what has been on my mind since the day that we got engaged. We were headed home from a BBQ at my mom's house when I burst into tears. I was the one driving, which made it a slightly scary moment. We had been working through guest lists and discussing the format of our ceremony and reception that weekend, and kept getting into stupid arguments about it. Mainly because I was holding back what I really wanted to say for some time. It all came out in one giant slurry sob..."I don't care who is at our wedding. Because the one person I want to be there isn't going to be there. And it's not fair."

I miss my dad. A lot. For the most part, I have gotten past most of those "it's not fair" moments. I try not to make the phrase part of my regular vocabulary. But there are definitely the times that I feel it. Birthdays are kinda shitty. Holidays too. Days of celebration that are supposed to be extra happy - they're just a little more sad. When I attend the weddings of friends, as much as I fight it, I often cry when I watch them dance with their dads. This is usually why I am in the bathroom when this part of the day happens so that others don't see me doing the ugly cry. Trust me, it doesn't look like the "Aww, how beautiful" cry that everyone else is doing. It's certainly not something to be captured in photos. It's not that I am angry at them. Maybe slightly jealous. But just sad. Definitely sad.

I know that there are parts of our day that are going to be different from all of those other weddings. I have known for the past seven years that I wouldn't have a father-daughter dance. That I would likely choose to walk myself down the aisle versus trying to decide who the suitable replacement would be. Because, in my mind, there isn't anyone else. I thought I would be over this by now. That if I spent enough time mentally preparing, that all of the emotion would go away. But it turns out, this feels worse than a birthday or Christmas.

When we started the actual planning, I had this onset of dread. I wasn't looking forward to planning this big party at all. And I think I tried to push it away by rationalizing that if we didn't make a big deal of our wedding, if we planned something small and simple and intimate, the gaping hole would somehow be less obvious. People wouldn't notice that someone was missing.

But he will be missing. And I'm doing my best to deal with that. Every day.

I hope this doesn't come across as though I don't care about other family and friends. Or that I am not excited to share in our special day with them. Because I know that on our wedding day, we will feel truly showered in love by all around us. And we are planning a pretty fun party. At least, I think so.

But if you have wondered why I am anxious about what our ceremony might look like, or I don't care to talk at all about the little details, it is because there is this tiny cloud that I am trying to push out of the way so that I can have a little more sunshine about May 25th.

As much as he can understand this, Chris gets it. And naming the problem has helped a lot. I have actually enjoyed some of our wedding planning tasks this summer.

Still don't give a sh*t about favors. Ain't nobody got time for that.

Wedding Party: Assemble!

Anyone else excited for Anchorman? 

Anyway...

Thought I'd share these pictures of the little gifts I made. I wanted to find a special way to ask some pretty wonderful people to be part of our wedding party. I received an amazing box like this from a friend who asked me to be in her wedding, and I use it to store keepsakes. I also was admiring the ones on Rinse. Repeat, a very lovely blog that you should read. Between the two of them, I had some great inspiration. Although I was more than a little awkward when I gifted this to Maria and said "Sorry....I kind of copied you..."

You can sort of see that I included some little notes with details about our wedding. It was a fun way to share wedding colors, info about dresses, etc.

I love crafts. This is definitely one of the more fun parts of wedding planning.

Sorry if this is too girlie. Perhaps a running post next...

An Unexpected Purchase

Did you guess what I bought?

I have a wedding dress. And I love it.

I wasn't planning on looking for a dress this early. In fact, I was sort of planning to delay that step for quite some time. The thought of standing in a bridal store and trying on a whole bunch of giant pouffy gowns while a bunch of people sit by to give me feedback...well, it just might give me hives.

Up until this point, I had pinned some ideas on Pinterest, and I had been looking online at the gowns from J.Crew and Ann Taylor. Nothing major. But then both of those sites just happened to post major sales last week. Which made it reasonable to purchase a few to try, and then send back if they didn't work out.

I ordered them last Monday and they arrived at my mom's house last Thursday. On Saturday, my mom, sister, and I gathered at her house so that I could try them on. This involved draping a whole room in sheets, to try to avoid the hair from my mom's cat, Gigi. Naturally, she ran through the room twice while I had dresses on, creating a giant cloud of white fluff in the air. Party crasher.

I tried on three dresses. The first one I put on stole my heart. And all three of us agreed it was a wonderful choice.

The discounted price also allowed me a bit of a treat. Some awesome shoes to wear with it. : )

I would say that this has me even more excited for the big day.

Planning Progress

No joke, fortune cookie. No joke. (my actual fortune: 4/20/13)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh, wedding planning. It is amazing how it becomes the major topic of conversation. I definitely get asked more about wedding planning than my dissertation progress now. Which is perhaps a good thing. So here is the update. 
 
Things We Have Set

• Date: Sunday, May 25, 2014 - yes, we are getting married on a Sunday. But it is Memorial Day weekend, so it is really like a Saturday. No worries.
• Location: The Milwaukee Public Market - couldn't be more excited about this! I love food.
• Colors: Black. White. Gold. Heavy on the Sparkles and the Stripes. In a way that is classy, not tacky. Because that's how I roll. See a few images below (which I will go back and mark for sources, when I have a moment). Pretty.

Please note that we have had this color scheme planned since long before The Great Gatsby came out. Every wedding blog seems to be making a Gatsby themed wedding post right now. Which is great for my Pinterest board. But I have a feeling we won't be the only ones doing this color scheme in the next year or so. We will not, however, be wearing roaring 20s attire. I'll leave that part to you. 

Things We Have No Idea About

• Who else is invited beyond Chris and I. Rough idea, but not finalized. It is surprisingly hard to plan a guest list when you are looking to keep it small. 
• Where, how, and with whom we will be doing the ceremony.
• What we are wearing. Clothes of course. But they'll be a surprise.
• What we are eating. Please note that I care more about this than the what we are wearing part. Food. Yum.
• Any of our other vendors. I will be soliciting feedback from a few friends who have planned recent Milwaukee weddings. At some point. Just not today.
• All of the little details. Do I have a Pinterest board? Of course I do. Do you even know me?! But I have decided to keep it private. Why? Because I realize that over half of the things I pin will likely not actually happen at the wedding. And I don't want our friends and family getting all excited for something totally amazing, yet implausible, like wedding pony rides, just because I pinned it, and then feeling totally let down. That would just be silly.

And that is that. Let's go back to talking about tv, books and movies now.

Photogenic

Look, it's us!

So I know that I said I wasn't going to post a whole lot about wedding stuff, but I have some exciting news to share.

We found out today that we were selected as finalists in a giveaway for a wedding photographer! Katie Lewis, of Katie Lewis Photography, posted an amazing offer to photograph one lucky winner's wedding, anywhere in the world, in 2014. I happened to get connected to the contest through my wonderful friend Ann, who went to high school with Katie. After we had the chance to look through all of the amazing photos on her web site, we knew that we had to enter. When we were talking to each other about our wedding, in our top three most important things, photos were at the top of the list. Katie manages to bring out the unique beauty of each couple's special day.

To be selected as finalists is such an awesome honor. We are really excited to be considered among the other couples. I had the chance to read their bios, and they all have such wonderful stories. If we were so lucky to be picked, I know that she would capture our story in a way that would best represent us.

Please check out her site, and if you are so inclined, consider voting for us sometime in the next week. We'd greatly appreciate it. And if you happen to have more than one device, you can vote twice! One vote per computer. : )

: ) Have a happy weekend!

Traditional and Not So Traditional

My mom is so witty. She gave Chris these farm animals as my dowry.
How many heads of cattle is standard? 

Sorry for the delay...there is still a post coming about the time I got stuck in an elevator. But for now, this...

In the few weeks since Chris and I announced our engagement, I have had a lot of people comment on how untraditional that we are are. Truth. We have lived together for quite some time. We did not have a traditional proposal. More of the "let's open our calendars and pick a date to get married."

I have a friend who said many times, pre-engagement, that I would be the one who called, not to say I was engaged, but rather that I was married. That might be more my style. I am significantly more excited about the being married part than the getting married part. Many people I talk to expect the opposite since I plan events for work. I must love this stuff. It's like planning formal recruitment but all for me! Any of my former students can tell you just how I felt about formal recruitment. Really, the thought of planning a wedding is more anxiety-inducing than anything else. I am excited, just not necessarily about the little details.

But celebrating with family and friends is important to us and outweighs the parts I don't like. So we are going to plan something small. Something special. Something that represents us.

What I need most from my friends and family as we plan: Be patient. Limit unsolicited advice. Don't worry - I'm not afraid to ask for help when I need it. Let us do this our way, even if it isn't your way. Don't freak out if I'm not overly enthusiastic about favors or a candy bar or bachelorette parties. Not my thing.

So if this blog doesn't turn into a conversation about which flower arrangements I have picked, or all of the wedding crafts I am making, please forgive me. I'll share an update or two when it matters.

Right now, all that matters is that we'll be getting married. Just over a year from now.

: )

An Announcement

One of my favorite drawings that hangs on our wall. From here.

In the major announcements category....

Chris and I are getting married! Woo hoo!

We are very excited and are enjoying all of the wonderful, kind words that friends have shared. In our four years (and eight days) of dating, we have been through so many adventures. It's exciting to plan for this big step in our future together.

If you are one of our Facebook friends, this is probably old news by now, but I have been getting lots of questions and felt like a short post would still get a read or two. Am I right?

The first question that I get asked is, "so what's the story?" It's a pretty simple one. We talked about getting married and spending our lives together. Chris talked to my mom. We made it official in a quick minute after walking into our apartment when we got back from family dinner. Pretty perfect. At least for us. I think when you are making the decision to spend the rest of your lives together, not much else is needed for it to be perfect. A big grand story just wouldn't be Chris and I.

The second question that I get asked is "Show me (Send me a picture of) your ring!" Don't have one yet. Not too concerned about it. We'll figure that one out eventually. I disagree with Beyonce that you have to put a ring on it to make it official.

As for any other questions as to date, location, etc., the answers will come with time. For right now, we are doing what we do every night. Watching eps of The West Wing. Sounds good to me.