Travel for Two

As we have been planning for our belated honeymoon, it hit me. This is the first big trip that Chris and I are taking together. 

We have traveled together before. That's not new. We drove to Iowa last summer for a reunion with my graduate school friends. We have headed out east together for the last several years to visit Chris' family. We have gone to the Rose Bowl and Florida with my family. And Chris joined me for a conference last year for some time in Orlando. 

But this time is different. This is us, planning an entire trip on our own. Over two weeks of adventures across three countries. Planes, trains, ferries and buses. Exchanging currencies. Determining what we both need in terms of structure and flexibility in our journey. Deciding when to get the advanced tickets and when to wait and make a game-time decision about what we want to do. Spending lots and lots of time trying to weigh advice from all of the interwebs. I am really enjoying our time spent researching the trip together, but wow, it can be overwhelming!

I'm finding that vacation planning can tell you a lot about your relationship. It provides insight into what each person individually values and what they need to feel fulfilled in a trip (and to stay sane). There is a need to be explicit in your expectations, and to not assume that the other person feels the same. To compromise, and make sure.

For example, Must Sees. We both have different things that we really want to do. And we can't do all of them. As we were talking about what day trips that we want to squeeze into the London leg of our trip, we were weighing our priorities of the Warner Brothers Studios to see the Harry Potter sets, a day trip through the Chunnel to Paris, and a bus tour to Stonehenge/Windsor Castle/Oxford. Sidenote: Channel + tunnel = Chunnel. Best thing ever! I'm a nerd. For both of us, Harry Potter was a given, because Harry Potter. Tickets booked. It's happening. But it was looking like it would make sense to choose between either Paris or Stonehenge versus trying to squeeze in both. For me, I'd choose Paris because I don't know when I will get there in the future. Chris also wants to go to Paris, but he worries that he'd feel some sense of regret, getting all the way to the UK and not making Stonehenge happen. Time to discuss. Is there a way that we can both be happy? 

Then there is the question of "How" we want to see different places. Are we bus trip people? Do we want a guided tour for things, or would we prefer to explore on our own? My aunt recommended that we do a biking tour of Paris, as a way to fit in a lot of sites in one day. Is that our style? Because this is our first kind of adventure, we are sort of guessing. We both agreed we weren't ready for a driving trip, so we are mixing in some self-guided destinations via public transportation, and selecting some guided day trips for the one's that seem a bit more complicated. If we go into this open minded, we can figure out what we'd prefer for next time.

Then there is the question of "What do I need on this trip to keep me from going crazy?" For me, I am pretty open to exploring lots of different things, as long as I am fed. Hangry is a thing. You can ask Chris - he's aware. He does not require specific meal times like I do. But he has learned that to avoid me getting crabby, food is important. Naps are also important.

To summarize: Naps. Food. Harry Potter. I'm excited.

How have you prioritized trip planning with a partner, friend, or family member? Any tips?